This week’s myth is especially important:

Myth: Penetration is the main event.

It’s a common belief that sex doesn’t really start until penetration happens. People walking among us believ that everything before it is just foreplay. Perhaps it’s considered a warm-up act, something you endure or rush through on the way to the “real” thing. It’s a myth that convinces people to override their natural desires and instincts, and possibly end up faking orgasms or even lying to themselves.

Most sex myths aren’t built around pleasure. They’re built around performance and sometimes even by the patriarchy. This one happens to center male satisfaction.

So let’s slow it down.

Why We’re Taught Penetration Is the “Main Event”

Do you feel like you get more pleasure out of foreplay? You’re not alone. The idea that penetration is the main event seems to center around only one kind of pleasure, with many vagina-owners being left bereft of orgasm.

Penetration-focused sex works pretty well for people whose bodies are most easily and largely stimulated that way. For everyone else, it often requires adapting, waiting, or even erasing all desire altogether.

When sex is organized around penetration as the goal, everything else becomes secondary. That doesn’t mean penetration is bad. It just means we need to deconstruct pleasure, and reframe it in a way that pleasures all parties, regardless of their genitals.

Reality Check: Lesbian Sex Exists

One of the easiest ways to see the cracks in this myth is to look at sex that doesn’t involve around penises at all.

Lesbian sex doesn’t treat penetration as the default or the finish line. Sometimes it shows up, sometimes it doesn’t. Partners enjoy pleasure, connection, and responsiveness as they grow in pleasure together. And somehow, despite the lack of a so-called “main event,” the sex still counts. It’s still satisfying. It’s still complete.

This is the biggest smoking gun, to debunk this myth.

Reframing Penetration’s Role

Here’s where nuance matters: penetration can absolutely be part of great sex.

For many women, penetration feels best after other kinds of stimulation have already done some of the work. This is what we consider foreplay. More accurately, we’ll refer to these acts as “outercourse” here. We’re talking about kissing, touching, oral, grinding, teasing, warmth, buildup.

Think of penetration not as the ignition, but as something that can deepen or amplify pleasure once you’re already turned on. For some people, penetration can help tip things over the edge when they’re halfway there. For others, it’s neutral. For others, it’s not the thing at all.

Expansive Pleasure Changes Everything

The problem is pretending penetration is the whole point, altogether.

A lot of vagina owners don’t struggle with orgasm because their bodies are “difficult.” They struggle because sex has been narrowed down to one single act, requiring a penis.

When pleasure is allowed to be expansive, orgasm often follows more naturally. And if penetration joins the party? Great. If it doesn’t? Also great. You got to cum, you lucky devil!

Debunked Verdict

Penetration is the main event? Officially Debunked.

Unlearning sex myths can feel strange at first. Sometimes uncomfortable. Sometimes deeply relieving. Because once a myth loosens its grip, there’s suddenly more space—for curiosity, for communication, for pleasure that becomes more expansive.

Penetration is an option among many pleasure choices. It can be part of sex without being the only thing sex revolves around.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected, rushed, or underwhelmed because penetration was treated as the finish line, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken. Your pleasure just needs more room than the myth allows.

Sex isn’t a performance for someone else. It’s a shared experience, shaped by what actually feels good. You’re allowed to center your own pleasure.

Stay curious. Stay soft with yourself. And remember: your clit matters.

The post Why We’re Taught Penetration Is the “Main Event” appeared first on Peach Kisser.

Today, we’re talking about a vaginal-centric hygiene, and why it’s important in sexuality and in general health. While we may love our sexy little lace panties and cuddling after sex, a little neglect is more than enough to sabotage your best efforts in self-love, self-pleasure and in maintaining vaginal health.

Lingerie is fun. But keeping clean panties on is it’s real, reliable, and rooted in self-care. Freshness boosts confidence, supports vaginal health, and keeps intimacy feeling easy instead of stressful. So let’s talk about what is normal, and what should be addressed!

Changing your Underwear Matters. A fishy smell is not normal, actually. 

We’re not saying we shouldn’t wear sexy lingerie, or trying to tell you how to live. We’re just here to deliver the facts: underwear sits in one of the warmest parts of your body, which naturally produces excretions throughout the day. Sweat and discharge build up, and so does harmful bacteria

With all that warmth, a balanced vaginal microbiome can grow the wrong bacterias. And the wrong bacteria means foul odors and infections. 

Dirty underwear doesn’t just smell off, it can throw off your pH, irritate your skin, and increase the risk of infections. Changing your underwear daily (and after workouts, sweaty days, or long nights) is one of those low-effort hygiene habits that pays off immediately.

However, it’s not the only piece of the puzzle. You still have a job to do, in your daily hygiene routines.

Basic Hygiene Standards to Keep Your Vagina Healthy

Let’s keep this simple and shame-free. Vaginal health thrives on consistency, not overdoing it Here are some basics:

• Clean underwear every day
  
• Gentle washing with warm water (no harsh soaps internally)
  
• Avoid scented products down there
  
• Wipe front to back
  
• Change out of damp underwear ASAP
  

If something smells off, it’s usually a sign to adjust your hygiene routine or see a medical professional.  

Your vagina is self-cleaning, but your labia is not.

Underwear hygiene and personal hygiene plays a big role in keeping things balanced. If your parents didn’t teach you, here are some basic highlights on keeping yourself clean:

• Shower regularly, especially after sweating, taking care to use a gentle soap over the vulva. Rinse gently. Medical professionals recommend a gentle, unscented & pH balanced soap.
• Wear breathable fabrics, like cotton or cotton blends.
• Change underwear at least once a day
• Keep an extra pair on hand for long days
• Wash underwear thoroughly and fully dry it
• Replace your underwear every 6-12 months, or whenever you see signs of wear and permanent staining.

What Kind of Underwear Is Best for Vaginal Health?

When it comes to vaginal health, breathable beats sexy every time (and yes, underwear can be both).

• Cotton or bamboo fabrics
• Moisture-wicking materials
• Proper fit—not too tight
• Minimal synthetic lace for daily wear

Save the fancy lingerie for short stints and sexy nights in. For everyday life, fresh underwear that lets your body breathe is key. Comfort and cleanliness are deeply underrated forms of sex appeal.

Need some more vaginal care tips? Check out Genital Grooming & Sexy Hygiene Tips That Actually Matter here.

Personal hygiene can make or break a relationship.

Like it or not, hygiene is an aspect of compatibility that really shouldn’t be compromised in a partnership. Here’s the unspoken truth: Partners notice differences in cleanliness even if they never bring it up.

Clean underwear signals self-respect and respect for the person you’re sharing your body with. 

If you and your partner have incompatible hygiene routines, it can affect overall attraction. Nothing kills attraction faster than mysterious odors, or thinking “maybe I can get away with one more wear” when it most definitely cannot. Additionally, if you’re having unprotected sex, there’s more intermingling of bacterias we want to control.

Good hygiene builds trust and comfort.

Did your mother not drive home the importance of wearing good underwear, in case of an emergency, or are you normal?

Hygiene isn’t only for germaphobes. It’s for everyone, and our partners. Whether you’re dating, hooking up, or just existing in your body, clean underwear matters more than something that looks sexy. 

Consistency with hygiene removes anxiety. In turn, that makes intimacy easier. And yes, bad hygiene ruins attraction faster than almost anything else, in particular if hygiene practes between parters are not compatible.

So if you’re choosing between lace and clean cotton? Choose both, and never skip the hygiene routine. Your body will thank you.

The post Hygiene Chat: Clean Underwear is Sexier than Lingerie appeared first on Peach Kisser.

All it takes is knowing the right questions to ask, and paying attention to your partner. If you’re not willing to do those things, should you really be doing this anyway?

Perhaps asking is awkward if you’re asking to pleasure someone in the same fashion one would offer a dinner plate. Stopping to check in, or asking before changing acts is a conscious choice which eventually leads to better sex, especially when done with some added heat.

Paying Attention = Underrated Sex Skill

Simply paying attention is probably the number one thing someone can do, to improve their sex life. We don’t know about you, but there’s nothing sexier than someone who’s paying attention and actually wants you to enjoy yourself.

Checking in can be as simple as noticing someone’s reaction and asking if they want more, less, or something different. Asking “does this feel good?” or “can I try something?” is a sign you’re engaged.

Give Proactive Consent – Communication During Sex

That the hottest moments are the ones where nobody says anything and everyone magically knows what the other person wants. Right?

Except most of us are not mind readers! Communication is essential for better pleasure and removing the awkward feelings behind overthinking and combating feelings of inadequacy. What you want isn’t always what your person wants, and if you want to provide a truly holistic sexual experience, you’re going to want to communicate as much as you listen.

In addition to paying attention to your partner and asking questions when you need to, tell them what you’re enjoying, what you like, and what you want them to do! This street goes both ways!

Confidence is Sexy

Confidence, especially in the bedroom, is attractive.

You don’t need a formal consent speech, or any signed agreements, exactly. You can keep it light, flirty, even a little silly. A check-in can be a whisper, a grin, a raised eyebrow, or even a breathy, “can I go down on you?”

Communication doesn’t have to be serious to be sincere.

Beyond the Check-In – Consent in Sex

Being active goes beyond questions–providing consent as you continue is also hot!

Exhausting yourself with mental gymnastics is not benefitting your orgasm, or your partner’s orgasm. Not only is checking in valuable, but proactively telling your partner what you like and don’t want is also a critical piece.

When you know you’re on the same page, everything feels easier — and usually better. Remove some of the awkwardness of checking in by being clear with your partner about what you enjoy, what you want, AND what you want to try.

Pay Attention and Reap the Rewards

When you know someone actually wants you there, fully and enthusiastically, it changes everything.

Consent in sex doesn’t make things stiff or scripted. It makes them intentional. It turns intimacy into something shared, versus an act that is simply done to another person.

No one really likes guessing games, anyway. Check in. Because confidence is hot. Caring is hot. And orgasms come a little easier, when both partners are relaxed and comfortable during intimacy.

The post How to Set the Mood with Consent in Sex appeared first on Peach Kisser.

During my hiatus from this site, I was off observing and navigating complicated emotions through the toughest life decisions.

Instead of immersing myself in the world of fantasy and seduction, as I am known to do, I’ve been holding vigil. I took the time to sit with someone I loved during his final days–I spent the entirety of my hiatus by my father’s side.

Being fortunate to spend this time with him, I found inspiration and enlightenment in the most bittersweet of ways, witnessing the most unexpected love story.

This is a story about the gentle, flirtatious spark that stayed alive in my father as he made his journey through his final moments on the mortal coil.

I’m in love with you–and it’s crushing my heart

I founded Peach Kisser with the intent to explore love in all its aspects, with a focus on eroticism and sexuality. We aim to uncover stories and essays surrounding the complexities of love, such as heartache, lust, trauma, self-love and all aspects of navigating interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships. Today, we bring you some of the bittersweet moments we may find in our life journey:

“When Love and Death Embrace”.

There is a song by the now disbanded Love Metal band HIM, by that title. This band explores themes of love and death, and inspire the themes to be explored here.

Love is inspiring, even in death. Perhaps, especially so. Death is the ultimate form of longing.

When one knows their demise is imminent, they may begin bargaining, seeking, validating, hoping… There’s a search for something, whether you’re looking for a few more moments, forgiveness, or even affection.

In death, one becomes cradled in intimacy one may have never known in life.

As we make way for our own passing, we witness so much from so many different perspectives, and relationships we’ve cultivated in life. Memories flow in, and you may become wistful as you’re saying your final good-byes, tying up any loose ends.

There’s longing in the bargaining… Whether it’s wanting more time, more moments with loved ones, or perhaps a moment to experience the joy of flirtation one last time, it’s a natural feeling.

No matter the capacity, there is a certain intimacy of being present for the final moments of someone’s life. Oftentimes, when you’re at your most helpless, is when you need the most love and care.

This intimacy can come in so many forms, as we approach the inevitable.

All I want is you–to take me into your arms

My father was a sweet and deeply silly man, and was well-loved by his community. Dad was a unique character, drawing affection from many people of all ages. Before his descent into the unknown, he unfortunately lost his life partner. This meant he was bereft of emotional intimacy, in his final year and a half of life.

He very much embraced the idea of being with her again.

While he may have been romantically lonely, and in a weakened state, he was still a vivacious flirt. Nurses treated him so tenderly, as their affection for him grew. They loved his bright smile and infectious spirit. They loved how much our family loved him, and certainly took notice of the flood of visitors he commanded.

His gentle, jovial nature brought nurses from all over the unit, into his room. These nurses cried with us, supported us, hugged us, and even went as far as decorating his room for him. Even the ones who didn’t treat him made sure to stop by his room, to wave and say hello!

I take great pride that my father might have been someone’s Scrubs story–a touching patient that taught them to see life a little differently, who made them smile and laugh through tears, and treated them with kindness and joy.

When Love and Death Embrace

Dad only stayed in the hospital for a month before he was moved to an inpatient hospice facility. While he had his favorite nurse at the hospital–a gorgeous, young brunette who gave him affection and love–there was one hospice nurse that stood out in his final moments.

Upon entering hospice, he was still fairly lucid. As such, his time there was a little longer than with most patients who arrive there with a little less life to live, and a little less spirit. His brain was still strong; it was only his lungs that were failing him.

Even through his final days, dad’s flirtatious spirit shined brightly, beyond his body–which had become frail and exhausted from his journey.

I need you–please, take me into your arms

One nurse grew especially attached to him. She was a little bit older than me. In my observations, she brought him comfort he never expected, and affection that was warm and comforting, with just a touch of emotional intimacy.

She’d walk in to his room, call him handsome, and treat him with such care and tenderness. She’d sweetly embrace his face, and he always met her gaze with a sweet smile. Before his consciousness waned, he definitely flirted back, embracing her affection with joy.

One day, I even showed her photos of him when he was straight out of the military. She giggled and said she wished she was 20 years older, and that they had met when they were younger.

I joked with her–”Are you my mom now?”

He gave her another very warm smile and a labored laugh, even in his weakened state. Dad was always a flirt, even in his younger days. He most definitely would have noticed her, if given the chance.

He continued to respond positively to her, throughout his care. I found myself staggered by how utterly beautiful it was, that someone can give him this type of love in his final days.

She shamelessly flirted with him, and offered him warm embraces and tenderness. She gave him the love he was sorely missing, and perhaps didn’t even know he wanted.

Love is palpable.

Touch nourishes, and affection softens us, helping to alleviate fear of the unknown–even if it isn’t death. I’ll go as far as to say: it’s completely necessary when you know you’re departing this world.

His constant flirtation, and attachments to his most favorite nurses proved to be his way of staying alive in the spiritual sense. It was his way to spread joy, giving everyone lessons of love along the way.

The tender love he received at the end of his life–I feel–gave him security we couldn’t. It gave him a sense of belonging and acceptance, even amongst the outpouring of love that was given to him by friends, family, and chosen family.

He received an intimate love we, as a family, couldn’t have provided. The love of a beautiful woman, ripe with tenderness. The desire to be seen, held, and adored is so deeply human, and beautiful to receive even in death.

Desire Never Dies

Desire doesn’t end–it evolves. Desire and love bring us comfort and joy, even if the source isn’t romantic in nature. Love and sensuality is so expansive in the way we touch hearts and lives, the way we smile, and even in the way we make someone feel adored.

Sensuality isn’t only sexual, which is the core component of the Peach Kisser mission and why I felt the need to share this with you all. Desire and the need to feel desired doesn’t disappear, even in death. Desire and sensuality expands far beyond what we know, even into the things we simply will never know.

The post When Love and Death Embrace – Flirtation at the Threshold appeared first on Peach Kisser.

We dove into the wild, funny, and brutally honest world of Reddit sex tips, digging through threads where users share the weirdest and most wonderful things to eat after sex. From sugary cravings to protein-packed pick-me-ups, these snack confessions offer more than a laugh—they’re a reminder that post-sex pleasure is real, relatable, and a little ridiculous in the best way.

So whether you’re refueling after a marathon session or need something to nibble while spooning, here are the best Reddit-approved after sex snacks we found—and maybe a few you’ll want to keep on your nightstand.

Reddit’s Sex Tips – After Sex Snacks

Sexual aftercare sometimes includes snacks! There are some things that are just essential, post-sex. Some are sillier, some are more thoughtful.

User AlterEgoMaria started us off with the most critical:

Comment
byu/HotMatt79 from discussion
inAskReddit

Ah yes, we cannot forget the essential post-coital photos, as you revocer from being so active together. This time, with combos! Sounds satisfying to me!

Comment
byu/HotMatt79 from discussion
inAskReddit

Some of us want to be a bit more indulgent in our aftercare period. Even with a FWB, banging and leaving isn’t always ideal:

Comment
byu/HotMatt79 from discussion
inAskReddit

While chocolate can often be seen as a substitute for sex, it’s also excellent in recovery. Chocolate contains a unique blend of compounds that can stimulate the brain and induce feelings of euphoria and pleasure. If you wanna learn more about Chocolate as an Aphrodisiac, check out out blog: An Indulgent Love Affair Between Chocolate and Your Hips

Comment
byu/HotMatt79 from discussion
inAskReddit

Some users chose to take things a bit too far, but if someone was willing to make me a whole spread like this, I might want to marry them:

Comment
byu/HotMatt79 from discussion
inAskReddit

All of these options sound solid to me, and are my personal favorites. A little protein or fruit can replenish lost vitamins, and help to recharge if you aren’t going to bed right away.

Comment
byu/HotMatt79 from discussion
inAskReddit

Whether it’s Oreos and Gatorade or leftover pad thai, your favorite after sex snack says a lot about you. Maybe it’s comfort. Maybe it’s ritual.Or maybe it’s just survival. Either way, there’s something deeply intimate about what you reach for after you’ve just been thoroughly, deliciously fucked.

So the next time you find yourself sweaty, satisfied, and starving, take a tip from Reddit: feed your cravings. Keep a stash. Get creative. And don’t underestimate the romance of splitting a banana and peanut butter in bed, naked and giggling.

Because the only thing better than sex… might just be the snack that comes after.

The post Reddit Sex Tips: Best After Sex Snacks Couples Actually Crave appeared first on Peach Kisser.

While there may be joy in a lot of these relationships, there comes an accompaniment of searing pain. One day, the pain overrides the joy, rationale improves, and the survivor has a moment of clarity.

On this day, the pain overrides any joy. Eventually there is no joy to behold, because we’ve lost so much.

We’ve had our identities gutted like a fish. It becomes a secret shame.

Escaping Survival Mode – Flaws of a Survivor

Emotional abuse can be quite insidious. One day, your abuser might make a comment you suspect you are misreading, so you brush it off. This leads to you brushing off the little things. Without realizing it, your sense of self begins gently eroding.

This removes your sense of self, slowly over time. The end result can convince you that you’re wrong. It may convince you that there is something wrong with how you’re experiencing reality. When the emotional harm begins to escalate into hostility, you have already been weakened. The effects of gaslighting can create a sheath of self-doubt around your sense of self. You may even wonder, “wait, was I the narcissist?”

We Adapt To Survive

Eventually, we adapt to these emotional cycles, which can put someone into survival mode. This means your brain is constantly on edge, for fear of what’s coming next.

Recognizing the brain patterns and emotional cycles is critical, to finally breaking-free mentally, from the situation. When you do finally escape, and the dust begins to settle, you may find that your head is getting clearer. Maybe your short-term memory improves after a few months. Maybe you’re less moody, and reactive.

Once we can recognize the cycles and our triggers within survival mode, that grants us the greatest opportunity to heal. For this, I recommend keeping a journal, for intentional healing. Note your reactions to other people, things, and situations.

Once everything is laid out for you to see, you’ll learn to sift out the noise, and find the patterns you created in order to survive. Recognizing the brain patterns is critical to undoing them, and getting yourself on the road to recovery.

Self Love & Remembering Who We Are – Flaws of a Survivor

As we sit there, in recovery from the trauma of abuse, you may wonder how to get out of it. There is a haze surrounding those first few moments–or even months–of freedom. When you’re no longer struggling to survive, you are well on your way to recovery.

Managing the “Flaws of a Survivor” you may have takes intentional work, but remembering who you are is worth the work.

Put yourself into perspective, when you’re getting out of a poor relationship. You’re vulnerable, whether you realize it or not. Your protective mechanisms may not be as strong. In some cases, they may be icon clad. However you may feel, it’s wise to give yourself time to survey the damage.

Be careful of self-criticism, and recognize that it’s from the perspective of someone who has been hurt. If this was one of your loved ones, would you treat them that way? Give yourself the grace you deserve when dealing with your flaws.

To quote myself in another post: You don’t need to be perfect to love yourself. Growth or needing growth is not a reflection of your worth. Forgive yourself for things, of which you may feel responsible. Accepting that you’re not perfect is SELF-LOVE.

Remember What You Deserve–Even If You’re Flawed

Loving an imperfect person perfectly taught me to love myself in spite of my own imperfections, teaching me that it is possible to love someone with the flaws of a survivor. I was flawed before I was a survivor, and I didn’t love myself. Self-love was not even something I knew existed, which means I never learned how to love myself.

Having spent many nights with tears in my eyes, and many mornings fearful of what I would awaken to, I now wake up with joy. Sleeping and waking with tears and fear was so profoundly impactful. But now I’m healing.

Then one day, you’ll remember who the F#CK you are! So, take the first step. Be honest with your self-assessment. You’ll be surprised by how far that gets you.

The post Flaws of a Survivor – Alchemy of Introspection appeared first on Peach Kisser.

I thought to myself, “Would they have been MEMORABLE if he didn’t ABUSE me?” Then, I took a deep, raggedy breath.

At that moment, I felt a flood of chemicals flowing into my brain. I continued my train of thoughts: “Did he even have anything to offer aside from the abuse?” In my experience, he did not. Once that epiphany flooded my sensibilities, I felt slightly more free from the suffocation from this particular trauma.

This isn’t always the case, but for many of us, it takes a shift in perspective to break-free from the trauma we’ve experienced.

Healing from Traumatic Relationships – Reconciling My Abuser

Many of us, who have experienced trauma from an abusive romantic relationship, struggle to break free of the pain that was inflicted upon us. In some cases, we retain a level of attachment to our abusers, When you realize you chose to overlook their flaws to see the good in them, you’re realize even moreso that you lowered your standards for them.

In my experience, I definitely lowered my standards to be with someone. When I entered this particular former relationship, I was in an extremely dark place after a total heartbreak, with someone who also didn’t deserve me.

My self-esteem was in hell.

Looking back, it was worse than I realized. This person seemed like he wanted to bring me joy. We had so much fun together! We moved so quickly, that I was barely able to catch my breath before I found myself knee deep in emotional commitment.

I was trapped. I stopped going out. The abuse was so egregious–and so frequent–it caused the autoimmune disease I already had to go measurably out of control, from the enormous stress. In fact, I’m still dealing with the impacts of this on my health, 4 years later.

When I had the aforementioned epiphany, I realized this man had absolutely nothing to offer! He really ended up being no more than a step above a “hobosexual”. He wasn’t attractive to begin with, and then he had gained a substantial amount of weight. It made him feel worse about himself than he already did. We couldn’t even have sex anymore, due to both his weight and his self-esteem! He didn’t cook, didn’t clean, stayed underemployed, and didn’t even help with his own child that would visit us.

Couldn’t he have at least been good to look at?!

You weren’t played, like you may think.

Abusive people rarely show their true colors from the start. You didn’t deserve the abuse, but you do deserve to heal, to love yourself, and to find happiness. Let’s acknowledge that you were strong enough to survive, and move forward.

Finding Love After Trauma

Healing from traumatic relationships is a messy, dirty business. Healing on purpose is a true act of self-love. When it feels like you’re trudging through the mud of traumatic memories, it can feel quite crushing. But then, something-or someone!-comes along and jolts you awake, forcing you to confront the darkness head-on.

There are a few things to consider, when it comes to loving yourself and others again.

• Practicing self-love is crucial. If you’re struggling on the path to self-love, please check out my blog How To Practice Self-Love, Even When You Can’t, to learn how to help get started in creating healthier brain patterns.
• Trusting someone will feel like dying; but you’re not. Learning what the red flags are of an abusive person is important, but try not to do the “shoot first; ask questions later” thing. That is never productive, and can harm more than it heals.
• Healing from traumatic relationships will take longer than you think; but that’s okay. You still deserve love!
• If a relationship is your end goal, you should be aware that some parts of healing can only occur when you’re actively in a relationship. The reason being is that when you’re single, there is no one capable of pushing the buttons your former partner used to push.

Sometimes, all it takes is a moment of clarity to realize just how utterly insignificant they truly are and were.

Healing is a work-in-progress, but it’s also a conscious decision. At least, it has been for me. I’ve been through therapy, I read books, deconstructed brain patterns, and actively worked to give myself the love I deserved.

Clearing The Brain Fog

When you’re healing from trauma, suddenly, something may shift. You may wake up, the fog will lift and grant you clarity you needed to move forward. This realization was both humbling and empowering for me, which awakened me to the true nature of my abuser.

You still have to unpack the trauma, and lick the wounds that have been festering for so long. Think of minimizing your abuser as a radical tool for reframing abuse – a gift that can help you rise above the pain. Like a fleeting orgasm, their power over us dissipates, leaving behind a sense of our own strength and safety. And maybe a little euphoria.

I want you to know that it’s not your fault. You didn’t ask to be hurt, used, and have your feelings discarded. You were taken advantage of, and that’s not something to be ashamed of; it’s a testament to your heart.

The post In the Rearview – Reframing Traumatic Relationships To Love Again appeared first on Peach Kisser.

Kiss Me Through the Phone: Quick Tips for Mind-Blowing Phone Sex

Do you have a long distance partner you need to satisfy? Sometimes you need to add a little spice to your Digital Getdowns, because they can’t WAIT to get you on the phone, girl!

Phone sex is a fun and very common way to ignite passion when you cannot physically be with your person. Sometimes you need to express your intimate connection via a more creative means, and phone sex is the primary way to do this! Of course, you can enhance all of this with a simple video cam session, but that may be for advanced users! For now, let’s get you going on the basics, so you’ll be screaming your partners’ name into your phone, quickly!

Set the Mood
Phone sex can be awkward at first, but once you get turned on, you may lose exhibitions. It’s important to set the mood for, not only your partner but, for yourself! Do whatever it takes to get you in the mood.  Make sure you’re in a spot where you won’t be disturbed. Don’t be afraid to dim the lights and light a candle or two. Then think of how your partner would want to see you; put on some sexy panties that make you feel good.

Undoubtedly, they’re going to ask what you’re wearing. If you aren’t good at making it up, actually putting on something sexy definitely helps!

Paint Fantasy With Words
You only have words, so you have to make it count! You can even express desires you’ve held back from! It starts with your imagination. Be descriptive and let the words flow. Be specific and paint a picture in their heads. When things really get dirty, make sure you start describing what you’re doing, but be sensual about it! No one wants to hear how good your glass toy feels in your pussy, if you’re saying it like you’re ordering lunch (dos tacos, por favor!).

Talk about what you’d like to do to your partner and what you wish they were doing to you. Remember, the goal is to arouse and be aroused, so speak slowly, and don’t be afraid to let them hear you moan! Phone sex is the perfect opportunity to explore fantasies that you might not act out in real life. If you’re feeling brave, add something new into the conversation, even if it’s a little out-of-character. If you’re creating a safe space with your partner, you can discuss every little kink you’ve ever thought of, and base your phone sex sesh on that!

Engage the Senses
Hearing is obvious, but you can expand stimulation in a few ways! Try asking them to touch themselves a certain way, or explain how you’re using your toys. Let them guide you, and vice versa. This helps create the connection, and will definitely result in a steamier conversation!

Read Romance or Erotic Novels
If you’re having trouble finding your words, try giving erotic short stories or romance novels a try. Sometimes we have trouble putting feelings and sensations into words, and taking cues from well-written erotica (or even audio erotica!) can certainly help you keep the put simmering, by expanding your sexual imagination.

Listen and Respond
Good phone sex is a two-way street. It’s not just about talking; it’s about listening, too. Pay attention to the cues in your partner’s voice—their breaths, the speed of their speech, the tone. Respond to these cues by escalating the intensity of your own voice or by switching up the pace to match their arousal. Create a rhythm of banter, to exchange erotic thoughts, feelings, and enhance your full experience.

Hopefully we’ve given you a good rundown of the basics of how to have phone sex! Phone sex is an exhilarating way to enhance intimacy, even for partners that have access for each other. Sometimes, sex isn’t convenient for a number of reasons. Embrace fantasy, embrace words, and learn where your imagination can take you, together. If you haven’t done this before, don’t be afraid to allow your partner to lead! Sometimes, experience isn’t something to be jealous of.

The post How to Have Phone Sex appeared first on Peach Kisser.

While I have never been keen on dating advice, I am also not one to hide my stories and share what I have learned. While I may not share these stories with anyone unprompted, I felt inspired to write a bit about how I have learned to become a better partner, find an ideal partner, and how I’ve managed to keep faith in love, in spite of the pain and sorrow peppered throughout my love life lore.

In my age and wisdom, I have found that when it comes to love, age has come with wisdom. That wisdom came from loving freely, and believing completely that giving love meant that I should expect it in return.

Well, love doesn’t quite work like that.

Perhaps it’s the current astrological transits, or perhaps because I’m ruminating on getting older. Perhaps it’s the feeling of finally being in a loving, safe situation with the actual ideal partner. Whatever it may be, I have found myself reflecting on the dramatics of my love life, from passionate nights to heavy traumas, and how they have impacted me as the partner I have become.

As I reflect on my ability to fully comprehend the joy of my life, I find I was not always this amorous. This time, I have found myself reflecting on past mistakes, triumphs, and glories that have led me to this place in my life where I finally feel secure. I feel loved, and appreciated and experience passion every day of my life, and I wouldn’t have manifested this without learning from my mistakes. One critical portion of my unsolicited dating advice: learn from your mistakes.

Alchemy is the practice of taking something; an object, a thought, a desire, and turning it into something new. It’s the magical process of transformation, creation, or combination. And all you need is to see love and life for what it is, in actuality.

Experiencing Romantic Love 

This could be a controversial statement, but: Love is not unusual, nor is it hard to find. Good, honest love is hard to find, but love itself?

Working with the belief that LOVE is as much of an emotion as it is an action and activity to participate in, helps put things into perspective. It’s easy to have a bad relationship and think you didn’t LOVE that person.

Sometimes that action, in love, is simply “being in a relationship” or “enjoying a passionate night together”. You can find love anywhere. You can find sexual passion in a bar, you can find a lover on an app. Sometimes we look for love in “all the wrong places,” but sometimes you get it right!

I fundamentally believe that romantic love is meant to be experienced in various times of your life, including when you’re too young to understand it. Lovers are meant to come and go, as are friends. Lovers are here to teach. Some may call them soul mates, even, or soul partners.

Many people have different beliefs on soul mates, and mine leaves room for multiple people to come into your lives. I don’t believe in “twin flames”, or in soul mates in the conventional sense of the word. I believe in the Elizabeth Gilbert philosophy of soulmates, which spoke to me after one of the hardest breakups I have ever experienced in my life. This can be taken as a piece of relationship or dating advice, as you move through your quest to find love.

Some relationships aren’t meant to last forever, even if you want them to last. This is where your life lessons come in, and taking lessons from your relationship is critical to finding something that suits you. If you want to see the OWN interview where Elizabeth Gilbert said this, you can watch it here. It came to me at an extremely impactful time.

Dating Advice – Learn From Your Relationships

After leaving a long-term relationship, I found myself a little confused as to the type of person I really wanted in my life. I knew it wasn’t my ex, but I was not sure where I wanted to go from there. 

Falling victim to the romantic idea of “what could have been,” I came across a man I had dated in the past. We dated in our twenties, and it was fun! It did not work out, and he spent many, many years wondering about me now and again. He knew he screwed up back then, and made sure to address it when speaking to me again. 

There were a few times he had reached out over the years, and I was usually in another relationship. But this time, I was single. He was just my type! This guy had a good job, he lived on his own, and took care of himself. However, it wasn’t long until he started getting more vulnerable, then started acting odd and distant.

As gung-ho as he was about a second chance with me, he slowly withdrew. I tried prompting him about it, and it was like talking to a wall. So, I left it alone. I simply did not reach out anymore.

It’s Not Always Personal

At the time, I was feeling glad I had not slept with him yet. While the lesson may seem obvious, I feel like the lesson was even deeper than not falling for “what could have been”. We ain’t Ashanti OR Nelly. This isn’t going to work out. 

It was learning that no matter what happens, no matter how much time has passed, most people do not change. To me, the lesson was that those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it. 

These same themes can be repeated even in relationships that had nothing to do with the original.

All of this helped me arrive at the most critical piece of dating advice I can give: Be truly intentional when picking your partner. Knowing what you want and don’t want is key.

Applying The Lessons

I fundamentally believe you can love someone in spite of their faults, and want to see the best in them. Otherwise flawed people would have never received our love to begin with. However, you’re not learning from love if you are not applying the lessons. 

We love humans; we don’t love products. There are human responses to things that may be considered positive or detrimental. When you begin to learn what is detrimental to you specifically, you need to take a step back when that is demonstrated in a partner.

You’ve already been there, baby.

Patterns repeat until they’re disrupted, and your job is to disrupt the pattern. Whether it be by a breakup, a conversation or something else. I have said it before and I’ll say it again, but when it comes to partnerships, closed mouths don’t get fed.

Understanding what you have experienced is crucial to enhance your own human experience. We learn not to touch a hot stovetop because it’s hot, but we don’t like to apply that to people that may not have the best intentions or who may be stumbling through their life journey. I’m telling you that if we aren’t applying what we learn, we are going to have the same experiences over and over. 

Whether it’s learning how to implement boundaries, learning what you truly want in a partner, or even learning to accept accountability– these are all lessons I have taken from relationships to help me grow. This is when life became fruitful.

Expecting Imperfection

People don’t come out of the box perfect. Our manufacturer didn’t design us in the same way a product is placed into production. Accepting your own flaws, as well as the flaws of others, is just a small piece of the dating advice sprinkled throughout this piece. There are no plans, so that means we come with faults. They are inherent. This is human. This is our gift and our curse. 

We cannot expect perfection where we are imperfect, ourselves. When we give our love to someone, it should be immediately reflected in our own self-love. After all, if we’re putting faith in someone else, we should be able to put a little into ourselves as well, no?

To all those I’ve loved before,

The ones with unique faces, big ears, curly hair, long hair, no hair. To the ones who were fat and bald and imperfect; the ones who had doll faces and long locks; the ones who wanted me to swing, the ones who were sexually confused. Oh! And we cannot forget the ones who ran the spectrum of ethnicities, the ones who have hurt me, the ones who have loved me–genuinely or disingenuously…

You all taught me valuable lessons, harshly and softly. Once I healed from the friction of your love or pain, those lessons became law. Pain became transmuted, and I created something even greater out of myself and my life. The “Sorcerer’s Stone,” if you will. For that, I thank you. 

And that, is the Alchemy of Love.

To Me.

The post Dating Advice from Lover Girl with Experience appeared first on Peach Kisser.

This is a list of fun ideas to help ignite the potential in your bedroom! My advice:  proceed with caution! Make sure you understand your own boundaries before making any changes in your relationship. Not all of these ideas will work for everyone, but we should all be aware of the ways “taboo” ideals can improve our love lives.

7 Sexual Taboos (That Are Good For You)

1. The Power of Role-playing

Have you ever dabbled in acting?   Whether you’re exploring a new persona or enacting a fantasy, role-playing adds an element of excitement and playfulness to your intimate encounters.

The beauty of role-playing lies in its ability to break down inhibitions. This opens a door to candid conversations about desires and preferences. You can explore hidden facets of your personality and unleash a sense of freedom in expressing your deepest fantasies. Role-playing goes beyond the physical act – it delves into the realms of emotion and imagination, enriching your sexual experiences with a touch of theatricality and intrigue.

2. Exploring BDSM Dynamics

Diving into BDSM dynamics can foster trust, communication, and a deeper understanding of your desires and boundaries. This realm of sexual exploration transcends mere physicality, delving deep into the psychology of power dynamics and consent. Contrary to misconceptions, BDSM is grounded in mutual respect and clear communication. This creates space for partners to navigate complex desires and boundaries openly.

Exploring BDSM dynamics encourages individuals to confront their vulnerabilities and communicate their needs effectively, fostering personal growth and self-acceptance. By engaging in safe, sane, and consensual practices, partners can build a strong foundation of trust and understanding, paving the way for transformative experiences that transcend the confines of conventional relationships. So, don’t be afraid to delve into the world of BDSM; embrace the complexities, explore your boundaries, and nurture a deeper sense of connection with your partner.

3. The Beauty of Sensory Deprivation

Sensory deprivation can enhance sensitivity, intensify pleasure, and increase mindfulness during intimate moments, leading to a profound sensory experience. In a world filled with constant stimuli, the art of sensory deprivation offers a unique opportunity to heighten awareness and focus on the sensations of the present moment. By limiting external distractions, individuals can delve into a state of heightened sensitivity, where even the slightest touch can send waves of pleasure through their being.

The beauty of sensory deprivation lies in its ability to create a cocoon of intimacy, where partners can connect on a profound level by immersing themselves in the sensory experience. By removing the distractions of sight, sound, and other stimuli, individuals are able to tap into their primal instincts and enhance their connection with each other. Sensory deprivation invites individuals to explore the depths of their desires and emotions, allowing for a more intimate and fulfilling sexual encounter.

4. Open Relationships: Honesty and Freedom from Sexual Taboo

This “sexual taboo” is definitely not for everyone! Be that as it may, many include it within our sexual repertoire to excellent results! To me, it boils down to more of a societal taboo. Be warned: It does require a huge unlearning process, if you’re conditioned for monogamy.

Non-monogamous relationships can provide opportunities for emotional growth, self-discovery, and the celebration of diverse forms of love and connection. The traditional view of relationships often limits the scope of love and intimacy to monogamous partnerships. By embracing non-monogamy, individuals can explore the fluidity of human connections. This allows for a deeper understanding of themselves and their capacity for love.

5. Sex Toys in the Bedroom

Integrating sex toys into your sexual repertoire can provide a lot of surprising benefits! They can enhance pleasure, improve sexual health, and encourage exploration of your own body and desires. The stigma surrounding sex toys as taboo or shameful has long inhibited individuals from exploring the vast landscape of pleasure they offer. However, incorporating sex toys into intimate encounters can lead to a deeper understanding of one’s body, preferences, and erogenous zones, enhancing the overall sexual experience.

The liberation of sex toys lies in their ability to ignite passion, creativity, and spontaneity in the bedroom, transforming routine encounters into exciting and experimental adventures. Whether used solo or with a partner, sex toys can open up new avenues of pleasure, stimulating both the body and the mind. By embracing the diverse functions and forms of sex toys, individuals can break free from societal taboos and embrace a more fulfilling and liberated sexual expression.

6. The Art of Dirty Talk

Engaging in dirty talk can heighten arousal, improve communication in the bedroom, and enhance intimacy by verbalizing desires and fantasies. The power of words in the realm of intimacy is profound, capable of evoking desire, building anticipation, and strengthening emotional bonds. Dirty talk offers a playful and exciting way to express fantasies and exercise consent. This expands intimacy, creating a shared language of intimacy between partners.

Start simple with telling them that you love how they feel. Let your creative juices flow!

7. Reclaiming Sexual Wellness Through Tantra

The essence of Tantra lies in its emphasis on presence, awareness, and intention during intimate moments, creating a space for deep emotional connection and profound pleasure. By incorporating Tantric practices into your sexual routine, you can tap into an expansive reservoir of sexual energy and connection, leading to a heightened sense of arousal and intimacy. Tantra invites individuals to explore the intersection of spirituality and sexuality, reclaiming sexual wellness as a sacred and transformative journey.

What are some other fun ideas to keep things brewing in the bedroom? Let’s get rid of the stigma of sexual taboos, together! Comment below, or let me know on social media!

The post 7 Sexual Taboos That Are Actually Good for You appeared first on Peach Kisser.