Sabrina Carpenter just dropped a new album, and the internet immediately spiraled into chaos — not just from the excitement surrounding ‘Manchild’, but from the cover art that had netizens clutching their metaphorical pearls.

Is the outrage justified, or just another day of people not knowing how to act?

 

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Not for Children Anymore – Breaking the Disney Curse

Let’s be honest: Did you think she was going to make G-rated sitcoms for tweens forever? She’s 26-years-old, babes. It’s called growing up. Wouldn’t it be a little weird to expect someone pushing 30 to still be doing musical numbers in a cafeteria? This isn’t GLEE.

The Disney-to-diva pipeline is alive and well, and Sabrina is just the latest to set the path on fire.

Have we learned nothing from Miley? Sure, Miley Cyrus did it with a sudden shift that rocked her fanbase. One day she was swinging naked on a wrecking ball, grinding on Robin Thicke, and licking construction tools. Iconic? Yes. Subtle? Absolutely not.

Sabrina chose the slow-burn glow-up, and became a woman before our very eyes, if you paid attention. Even if you think she didn’t. Over time, the eyeliner got darker, her outfits got sexier, and suddenly she’s singing lyrics that you’d rather not have your young ones singing along to, in the car.

You either clocked the transformation early, or you’re still stuck in 2016. That’s on you.

Sabrina was never going to stay your childhood fave forever, though her initial roles were minor. She used smart branding to go from “that girl from Girl Meets World” to a chart-topping, headline-snatching femme fatale. And now? She’s not just playing the branding game, she’s set the whole damn stage ablaze! 🔥

Pushing Societal Boundaries – Sabrina Carpenter

It’s silly to act as if pop music did NOT always have a rebellious streak. From Madonna simulating masturbation on stage (she was almost arrested) in the ’90s to Britney strutting through a high school in a sexy schoolgirl outfit, women in pop have always had to push boundaries just to be taken seriously. And Sabrina? She’s owning her sexual agency and commanding her brand like a seasoned professional.

Her past albums like Emails I Can’t Send and Short n’ Sweet already hinted at a bolder, unfiltered Sabrina. Now she’s hot, she’s sexual, and she’s done being quiet about it.

This time she’s creating imagery of kinks that are not mainstream: Pup Kinks. 🐶 Woof.

It’s bold. It’s brash. It’s enough to make middle America write strongly worded Facebook posts. Which means… it’s working.

So… Um. What Is a Pup Kink?

So, this is the part where the pearl-clutchers really lost their minds. The imagery was immediately obvious to me as an allusion to a submission/pup kink.

So, a “pup kink” is a roleplay-based fetish, where one partner pretends to be a puppy. That’s it. No actual dogs involved. It’s about submission, playfulness, and power dynamics, often involving collars, leashes, or wagging tails (yes, really).

Did Sabrina explicitly say this is what she’s referencing? Kinda. But did the internet lose its mind over imagery that hinted at it? You bet. And that outrage? That’s exactly the point. Your refusal to understand BDSM dynamics and how they don’t actually take away from feminist ideals aren’t her problem.

If you want to learn more about other kinks and fetishes, make sure to check out our Sexually Speaking category!

Your Puritanism is Showing, Feminists

The outrage surrounding Sabrina’s hypersexuality says more about us than it does about her. Why is a young woman confidently expressing her desires still such a shock to the system? Deep down, we’re still clutching onto purity culture like our virginity at Bible camp.

Let it go. It’s a made up concept, anyway. Men write lyrics about date rape and assault, and people are less apt to lose their minds. A woman expresses a submission kink, and suddenly it’s “controversial”? Get over it. Kinks aren’t anti- or pro-feminism. They’re kinks. She’s displaying them in a way that looks like a lot of things to the uneducated masses.

Again–not her problem. This is her art.

Feminism isn’t a monolith. For some, it’s marching and protesting to retain and gain rights. For others, it’s wearing a bustier on an album cover. Feminism includes the freedom to be loud, sexual, dramatic — or quiet and bookish, if that’s your thing. The whole point is choice. And Sabrina is choosing to lean into what makes her “pop”!

And yes — that is feminist. Even if it’s submission. All you’re doing is kink shaming.

A Culture Afraid of Sex, but not Violence

We all have to learn about sex at some point, and it’s inarguably healthier to understand, so you can express yourself one day and in appropriate timeframes.

Have you noticed that violence is far more accepted than sexuality? Sabrina is exposing people’s real thoughts about sex, which don’t seem to have progressed far beyond the days where Madonna released her Sex Book in 1992.

Ask yourself how you’d respond if the imagery was violent, as opposed to a BDSM dynamic that isn’t actually harmful. Her hair isn’t even being pulled aggressively. You’re just imagining violence, here.

Besides, she KILLED A MAN in a music video. Where was the uproar? 🧐

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The Evolution of a Pop Star

Sabrina Carpenter’s latest era expands her brand with a little more edge, than what she already inreoduced. With every sultry lyric and scandalous photoshoot, she’s peeling back the layers more and more of what it means to grow up in the spotlight and reclaim your sense of self, to eventually embrace your sexuality.

Maybe if we all took a cue from Sabrina for embracing our sexuality, many of us would be happier. Maybe we’d be better able to express ourselves sexually, instead of sinking into the emotional damage caused by self-repression. We should all be free to explore our desires without shame. That’s what Peach Kisser is all about!

Sabrina is not here to babysit your kids, and she never was. She’s not here to be palatable. She’s here to be hot, to be heard, and to make you uncomfortable — in all the right ways. So if you’re still clutching your pearls, maybe it’s time to loosen that necklace. You might just find some of the same freedom Sabrina’s already enjoying.

Listen up–porn is fun. You’re not the only one curious about porn. Porn for Women, and those with more femme sensibilities, is a growing genre with more and more real pleasure, thought-out storylines, and real chemistry. More and more femmes are embracing their sexuality, and exploring the world of pornography. If we can turn you from porn-shy to at least porn-curious, we’ll consider our job here to be complete!

Getting Comfortable (For the Curious but Nervous)

If you’re just getting your toes wet, you don’t have to get buck wild! There’s content that isn’t “scary”. Softcore or romantic porn might feel more like an ideal or realistic fantasy, or more relatable. It’s an excellent way to explore your visual desires, as they bridge into your more primal nature.

Don’t be afraid to stop something if you’re not enjoying it! Begin with softcore or erotic content and gradually move on to more explicit stuff.

Finding the Right Porn (Because Not All Porn Is Created Equal)

Amongst the sea of erotic novels and romance, it’s clear that many more feminine porn watchers have a different mindset, when it comes to getting off.

Let’s be real—mainstream porn wasn’t made with us in mind. Today we wish to highlight how porn has evolved, and how to get comfortable with using it as the cherry on top of your self-care routines.

There’s so much good stuff out there if you know where to look.

Where to find Porn for Women

Start with Free Platforms to figure out what you like – Pornhub, for example, has a site devoted to Porn for Women, which features passionate sex we can all get behind. Explore niche categories that turn you on, whether it’s lesbian sex, BDSM, or even anime porn (yes, it’s a thing!).

Solo Female Pleasure – If you’re new to porn or want something sensual, solo female creators are your best bet. Think slow teasing, real orgasms, and eye contact that makes you feel seen.

Erotica & Audio Porn – Sometimes, the hottest thing isn’t visuals—it’s words. Erotic stories or ASMR-style whispers (oh hey, r/gonewildaudio) can get you dripping fast.

Female-Directed & Ethical Porn – Lust Cinema offers a more curated selection of content that’s designed to cater to women’s tastes. They offer scenes that are built with passion, and storylines that are sensible.

You won’t find any ridiculous “Pizza Boy” content here. Even their anal content is romantic. 😮‍💨

Check out my scene reviews to get an idea of what their content includes, as I cover Lust Cinema regularly. You can also view ratings from users on the websites, to check ratings from other women. Perspective is important!

Don’t Be Afraid of Your Secret Kinks – Maybe you’re into praise, power play, or voyeuristic scenarios. There’s porn for everything—so don’t be afraid to explore.

Pro Tip: Bookmark a few vids/clips that turn you on instantly. If you create a login, you may be able to save your favorites to a playlist! Your future self will thank you.

Setting the Mood (Because Masturbation Is a Ritual, Not a Chore)

Lighting & Privacy – Lock the door, dim the lights, maybe light a candle. This is your time.

Lube & Toys – Keep ‘em close. If you’re watching something especially filthy, you’ll need them immediately and getting up is a chore. 😉

Headphones – If you enjoy indulging in moans or dirty talk, amplify the experience and keep it discrete!
Just go at it – if you don’t need to romance yourself, don’t sweat it! This is all about YOU, baby.

How to Actually Use Porn (Without Feeling Weird About It)

Alleviate Pressure – You don’t have to finish, and you don’t even have to settle on a scene. Sometimes, it’s just about enjoying yourself.

Sync Your Touches – If you’re watching solo content, mirror her movements. If she’s rubbing her breasts, you rub yours. If it’s a slow, teasing scene, take your time. Match the energy. It’s excellent self-exploration.

Porn as Inspiration – Modify, fantasize, make it your own.

Masturbating to porn is all about embracing your sexuality and exploring your fantasies. This is a normal and healthy thing to enjoy. Remember: You’re Not Weird – Liking porn doesn’t make you “too much.” It makes you a woman who knows what she wants and is open to exploration.

Remember, it’s okay to be curious, and it’s okay to take control of your own pleasure. Own it! You deserve it.

Survivors know about the array of emotions flooding through you, after you leave a situation in which you were unsafe. As many victims of IPV or emotional abuse can attest, we experience a full spectrum of emotions when finally escaping these relationships. This is particularly important to understand when you’re healing, and very important to know if you have a survivor in your life. As survivors, we come with flaws. However, they’re not impossible to overcome.

While there may be joy in a lot of these relationships, there comes an accompaniment of searing pain. One day, the pain overrides the joy, rationale improves, and the survivor has a moment of clarity.

On this day, the pain overrides any joy. Eventually there is no joy to behold, because we’ve lost so much.

We’ve had our identities gutted like a fish. It becomes a secret shame.

Escaping Survival Mode – Flaws of a Survivor

Emotional abuse can be quite insidious. One day, your abuser might make a comment you suspect you are misreading, so you brush it off. This leads to you brushing off the little things. Without realizing it, your sense of self begins gently eroding.

This removes your sense of self, slowly over time. The end result can convince you that you’re wrong. It may convince you that there is something wrong with how you’re experiencing reality. When the emotional harm begins to escalate into hostility, you have already been weakened. The effects of gaslighting can create a sheath of self-doubt around your sense of self. You may even wonder, “wait, was I the narcissist?”

We Adapt To Survive

Eventually, we adapt to these emotional cycles, which can put someone into survival mode. This means your brain is constantly on edge, for fear of what’s coming next.

Recognizing the brain patterns and emotional cycles is critical, to finally breaking-free mentally, from the situation. When you do finally escape, and the dust begins to settle, you may find that your head is getting clearer. Maybe your short-term memory improves after a few months. Maybe you’re less moody, and reactive.

Once we can recognize the cycles and our triggers within survival mode, that grants us the greatest opportunity to heal. For this, I recommend keeping a journal, for intentional healing. Note your reactions to other people, things, and situations.

Once everything is laid out for you to see, you’ll learn to sift out the noise, and find the patterns you created in order to survive. Recognizing the brain patterns is critical to undoing them, and getting yourself on the road to recovery.

Self Love & Remembering Who We Are – Flaws of a Survivor

As we sit there, in recovery from the trauma of abuse, you may wonder how to get out of it. There is a haze surrounding those first few moments–or even months–of freedom. When you’re no longer struggling to survive, you are well on your way to recovery.

Managing the “Flaws of a Survivor” you may have takes intentional work, but remembering who you are is worth the work.

Put yourself into perspective, when you’re getting out of a poor relationship. You’re vulnerable, whether you realize it or not. Your protective mechanisms may not be as strong. In some cases, they may be icon clad. However you may feel, it’s wise to give yourself time to survey the damage.

Be careful of self-criticism, and recognize that it’s from the perspective of someone who has been hurt. If this was one of your loved ones, would you treat them that way? Give yourself the grace you deserve when dealing with your flaws.

To quote myself in another post: You don’t need to be perfect to love yourself. Growth or needing growth is not a reflection of your worth. Forgive yourself for things, of which you may feel responsible. Accepting that you’re not perfect is SELF-LOVE. 💋

Remember What You Deserve–Even If You’re Flawed

Loving an imperfect person perfectly taught me to love myself in spite of my own imperfections, teaching me that it is possible to love someone with the flaws of a survivor. I was flawed before I was a survivor, and I didn’t love myself. Self-love was not even something I knew existed, which means I never learned how to love myself.

Having spent many nights with tears in my eyes, and many mornings fearful of what I would awaken to, I now wake up with joy. Sleeping and waking with tears and fear was so profoundly impactful. But now I’m healing.

Then one day, you’ll remember who the F#CK you are! So, take the first step. Be honest with your self-assessment. You’ll be surprised by how far that gets you. ❤️

This is the cake-sitting content you needed today! 🎂 We’re presenting you today with Kasplosh By Lust Cinema, Directed by Rebecca Stewart. This is a colorful, whimsical scene where a simple birthday wish unleashes the freak within. This time, a simple cake won’t do. No–today’s star, Kazumi, has cravings worth immersing herself within, as she lets herself unfold into whipped, buttery bliss.

Click Here to Watch Kasplosh at Lust Cinema!

Unpacking Kazumi and Romeo

As a porn for women reviewer, I have not yet indulged in a Kazumi scene. She’s beautiful and I felt she definitely enjoyed immersing herself in this scene, as a performer. Not only do her looks lend themselves well to the colorful aesthetic, but she’s deeply enthusiastic! Romeo is also new to me–he’s a performer from Germany with a lower profile.

With his statuesque looks alone, you’ll want to seek some of him as your indulgence. Even if you want your cake to go along with it. 😉

Setting the Scene – Kasplosh! by Lust Cinema

At the very opening of the scene, we’re met with a disclaimer about anal-to-vaginal penetration. That’s when I knew we were really in for a good time. 😏

Click Here to Watch Kasplosh by Lust Cinema!

That said, please don’t try this at home! If you do, do not blame any of us. Just strap-in and watch the bliss unfold.

This scene transitions you into a colorful world inside Kazumi’s imagination, where she dreams about what she really wants for this birthday.

While she certainly craves cake, she wants more of a cake experience. This fantasy scene begins with a man wearing nothing but an apron. (Damn, it IS porn for women!) Romeo models nude, clothed only by a pink chef hat and an apron. This birthday fantasy unfolds into dreamy layers with several cherries on top, as Kazumi continues to tells us about her birthday fantasies.

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Click Here to Watch Kasplosh by Lust Cinema!

Cakes Aren’t Just Meant for Eating

The imagery is deeply stimulating, with colors and sounds and textures meant to stimulate you beyond the pleasure demonstrated on screen. You’ll hear every smoosh, lick, and slurp as the pair carries the scene from oral pleasure to a believable invitation to penetrate her, anally.

I am sure we have some size queens here, but look–he’s BIG. When he’s finally filling her up from inside, she exclaims, “I can’t believe it’s inside me”. She is thrilled to be filled, submitting to him as he continues penetrating her with nothing but joy and consent.

This scene features action, with genuine giggling and interaction between the performers. I find films at Lust cinema tend to have more organic interactions, without the hard cuts you’ll get in more traditional pornography. These performers speak to each other, yet they remain in character, enjoying each other beyond the script.

Click Here to Watch Kasplosh! by Lust Cinema!

Final Thoughts

This scene was a sticky, sweet ASMR pleasure to watch. The whole time you can tell just how much fun the performers are having, with genuine smiles in between transitions. This simply looked like a joy to produce, from beginning to end. I hope this was as fun to shoot as it looked!

You can enjoy this scorching scene now, at Lust Cinema. Make sure to follow us on Instagram and Threads for the latest updates, and stay tuned for our next review featuring the second episode of Lost in L.A.!

Mexican entertainment has always been synonymous with spectacle and sensuality—and no one embodied that more explosively than Tongolele. A deeply alluring vedette, burlesque dancer, and actress, she set the burlesque stage on fire in the 1940s and 1950s, leaving behind a trail of legends, gasps, and more than a few sexual awakenings. And while many stars shone brightly, few ever burned with the same kind of fiery passion as Tongolele.

She didn’t just entertain—she unleashed something. She inspired generations of vedettes, dancers, and women unafraid to own their sensuality. Tongolele was more than a performer; she was a revolution in rhinestones.

Tongolele – From Spokane to Stardom

Born Yolanda Montes on January 3, 1932, in Spokane, Washington, this half-Mexican, half-American dynamo turned her dreams into reality, among the burlesque stages of Mexico. At a young age, and with encouragement from her parents, little Yolanda threw herself into dance, mastering several dance styles that fused with her adult-bred sensuality.

As she honed her talents between the U.S. and Mexico, her presence expanded, and soon enough, the name “Tongolele” was born—reportedly from an amalgamation of the words “Tonga,” a Polynesian garment, and “Lelé,” meaning “dizzy” in Spanish. This proved to pair well with her penchant for African and Tahitian dance styles, which helped catapult her into iconic status.

By the late ’40s, Tongolele was an icon of Mexico’s cabaret scene. With her hypnotic movements, improvised choreography, and glittering, barely-there costumes, she was a walking scandal wrapped in sequins. Remarkably, with little scandal to speak of other than gossip.

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Setting the Stage—and the Screen—Ablaze

Tongolele’s talent went far beyond the stage, giving her career growth that was once only in her dreams. By the early ’50s, she was making waves in Mexico’s Golden Age of Cinema, becoming a star on the Silver Screen.

On screen, she played mysterious, sultry sirens who defied norms and stole every scene. Tongolele even infused her Afro-Caribbean and burlesque inspired roots into everything she did, standing out with a heat that Mexican cinema had never seen before. She didn’t just act; she seduced the camera and audiences all over Mexico.

Her fearless performances made her both a darling and a controversy magnet. She turned traditional dance on its head, blending folk dances with raw eroticism.

The Look That Created the Icon

We would be remiss to leave out the look that made this siren truly iconic; that hair! Tongolele boasted a full head of raven hair, accented with a striking white streak and blue eyes.

While her hair seemed deeply intentional, it wasn’t just a bold choice. Tongolele had a rare condition called poliosis, which causes depigmentation in a streak of hair.

This everlasting symbol of beauty used the genetic quirk as part of her visual trademark, accenting her overall mystique.

Drama, Darling

No tiger queen rises without a few claws coming out. Tongolele’s risqué performances were often met with pearl-clutching from the moral police. Her shows were occasionally shut down due to her refusal to tone things down—but she never backed off. Nudity? Censorship? None of this mattered to the fearless starlet.

As such, Tongolele became a trailblazer for sexual liberation. The sexual revolutionary officially retired in the 1960s, but her legend only grew. She remained a symbol of sexual liberation, artistic rebellion, and feminine power until her passing on February 16, 2025, at the age of 93.

So here’s to the woman who danced through taboos, set the stage on fire, and gave an entire nation permission to feel sexy. Long live the queen!

There’s something about the way early Summers blanket my home and garden with comfort. After Spring has brought new life to my home, I bask in the comforting glow of the sun in my hammock under my Peach Tree. The air is warm and sweet, wrapping me in a romantic embrace worthy of the most legendary love stories.

My hammock was a bit of a splurge, but I think it was worth it. Now that my peach tree is full of the sweet scent of ripening fruit, I find myself here most evenings simply spending time with myself. My lush, quiet neighborhood sinks into the evening, as the air cools and gives us a bit of a reprieve from the heat. It’s easy to fall asleep here, listening to the rustling leaves from the gentle breeze washing over myself and my garden.

My garden hammock has become my sanctuary.

And each evening I spend here, in my hammock, I drift off into joyous thoughts and memories. This time, as I sink into a delicious haze I wasn’t prepared to uncover. This time, I dream about the last person to make my heart race.

I missed her–Anna. She often haunts my thoughts as I drift off to sleep, when my mind is unencumbered by my daily stresses. I missed the way she made me laugh, the way she touched me, and how passionately she loved me with every bit of light inside of her.

As I lay there, the warmth of the sun seeping into my soul, my thoughts began to simmer. Blissfully, I imagined her gentle fingers gently caressing my curves, her soft lips gently kissing the back of my neck. The sweet nothings she’d whisper sunk into me like the most satisfying bite of the perfect peach. As my heart rate began to elevate, without thought, my hands began to wander, as if searching for the feeling Anna once left me.

Under My Peach Tree, My Hammock Beckons

As I lay in my hammock, with my eyes closed, I began to lose awareness of what’s around me. My arousal is only accented by the sound of the breeze rustling the leaves of my tree, and the occasional car driving through my neighborhood. I began to touch myself, trying to emulate the feeling Anna would leave me.

Being so vulnerable to the gaze of passersby only entered my mind in fleeting moments. It added to the thrill. Giggling to myself, I pushed the thoughts away, to focus on my building sensations and on my thoughts of Anna’s presence.

As my fantasies grew more vivid

I began to think of her body pressed against mine. Feeling each of her curves along my bare skin, as she reaches for my hips. I imagine her hands roaming my body, sending shivers down my spine, teasing my nipples and caressing me slowly, dipping into my warmth as if it was a delectable and sweet jar of honey.

Surprisingly, my arousal continued to grow. With my hand now stroking my engorged clitoris over my underwear, I knew I wasn’t going to go back. Even the sounds of nature faded into the background of my fantasies, as I began to grind my hips to the rhythm of my fingers. I was preparing for Anna to consume me whole.

Fully immersed in my fantasies, my haze only continued to blur the lines between fantasy and reality, as I slipped my hands into my warmth. I’m only thinking of Anna’s fingers…

Even my beautiful garden began to fade into the background, as I dove deeper into the fantasy of Anna and I being the only two people in existence, building each other’s pleasure. I see her eyes curled into a smile as my arousal begins to peek, remembering her filthy dirty talk. Oh, Anna, I’m am very good girl today. Just for you.

My fingers moved with a life of their own, as if possessed with Anna, herself. They stroked, teased, probed and penetrated me into budding pleasure, intending to cause a full explosion. As tension in my body built, I moved my fingers even faster, trying my best to hold back the moans, even though I was in my own garden. On the precipice of release, I finally allowed an orgasm to wash over me. An orgasm that launches me just to the edge of reality.

As I came down from the euphoria of the orgasm, I slid my fingers into myself, penetrating deeply as if I needed to cool down from a workout. I settled myself down once again, finding the sun meeting my hazy glaze. Nature begins to unfold before me, once again. I hear the birds calling. I hear the rustling of the leaves in the gentle breeze, as I lay under my peach tree with my skin still flushed from indulgent pleasure.

For a moment, I lay there, basking in the afterglow of my fantasy.

Satisfied, I looked around and found there were still no observers. I laid back into my hammock, to enjoy my own afterglow. While I recovered from such an explosive fantasy, I laid back gently. I enjoyed the feeling of warmth of the sun on my skin once more.

I glanced up at the peach tree, its branches heavy with ripening fruit. Just because we couldn’t be together right now, didn’t mean I couldn’t think about her from time to time–did it? I smiled, knowing that Anna would love the sweet juiciness of my peaches, just as she loved my sweet taste of pleasure.

As I walked back to my small cottage, nestled among the trees, I felt a sense of pleasure and joy washing over me. I looked back at my peach tree, the center of my garden, knowing that now we share some naughty secrets.

And who knows? Maybe we’ll share more naughty secrets together. Maybe next time, I won’t be alone under my peach tree.

Welcome to yet another edition of Beyond the DD, where I write about my life as a woman with breasts that… outsize much of the competition. This is a series about Big Boob Problems, and the joys and sorrows that come with accepting your body as it is–even if it’s something that’s considered desirable.

If you’ve been with me since Part 1, we’ve unveiled how I got here, and invasive staring in Part 2. Today I am ready to discuss the more practical aspects of a simultaneously BIG and small part of my life.

While owning a spectacular set of breasts, it does come with a number of negative aspects that cannot be ignored, along with the positive. Today, I am going to unpack impacts on physical and mental health surrounding the …”support” of big ol’ honker ownership; Pain, Surgery, and Self-Acceptance.

Check out the Full Beyond the DD Series.

Big Boob Problems – They’re a Pain

Many of us, myself included, spent time in their teenage years wishing for larger breasts. This was practically a rite of passage in the 90s. Little did I realize, back when I was wielding lil’ b-cups, that I would end up as an all-natural anomaly; a top-heavy princess with a spine that grapples with the weight it must bear.

Specifically, this pair is a pain in my neck and shoulder muscles. I frequently wince, whenever I see feminists discuss how we should all go bra-less. My poor neck! My poor spine! 😣 “Not me,” I beg. I like to keep these things lovingly packed away, so my shoulders aren’t bearing the load.

When I am not manning the “equipment” properly, I am left in sizeable amounts of pain. My left shoulder seems to struggle the most, but my spine as a whole has left chiropractors aghast, wondering exactly what’s happened to me.

Sirs, I’m sorry. But can you NOT see what you’re dealing with? As one can imagine, manning the equipment involves costly materials one cannot simply just purchase as the local department store.

Big Boob Problems – Bras are Spendy

While I adore the fashionable designs from Curvy Kate, and I am able to find bras in sister sizes that function properly, even though not every bra suits every occasion. This fact is far more apparent, when you have larger breasts.

Some clothes just look ridiculous, in a bra that prioritizes fashion. They’re never quite cut right. Many of them designed for larger gals offer FULL coverage, which doesn’t even look good under a t-shirt.

While proper sizing works to make my hourglass more apparent, sometimes I just don’t want all the attention. They always keep my breasts festooned beautifully, in their full glory, as God intended. They’re front-and-center and begging to be seen.

While it may be fun to show off once in a while, most of the time these things just get in the way. Thus I have resorted to several means to control them appropriately, depending on the circumstances.

Minimizers Are a Godsend

Many days–particularly in polite company–I prefer to wear a minimizing bra. This may sound uncomfortable, but you’re going to have to hear me out. Especially if you’re a big boobied lady, yourself!

Minimizer bras are by far the most flexible item in my lingerie chest. Not only does the right minimizer still look good under most clothes, but it is not a totally miserable experience. Though, I will say, minimizing bras are the only reason I have begin to understand why women love taking their bras off at the end of the day. However, these bad boys can take about 3-4 inches off the width of my bustline! 😱

Be that as it may, I value what they add to my overall look and figure. As for day-to-day comfort, I keep them strapped down and out of my business with sports bras. Even then, they don’t always offer the support necessary to keep my shoulders from straining. Sometimes, I require reinforcements in the form of a second sports bra. Or simply putting on a regular, uncomfortable bra.

It can be a sensory nightmare. 😅

Big Boob Problems – What About Breast Reduction?

Those who have loved me intimately preferred for me to keep such sizeable mounds, as I have entertained the idea of surgery. The truth, however, is quite simple; I am not ready to part with them.

They may be a pain, they may get in the way, but it’s my BODY. These breasts are mine, and I love them just like I love the other parts of myself that make me, ME.

While I have had both major and minor surgeries in my life, voluntary surgery is not something I have the time or energy to recover from. Not to mention, if you read Part 1 of this series, you’ll know I have a number of health issues that may make healing and recovery a far more arduous journey, than it would if I was a fully healthy person.

Accepting The Problems & My Body

While they may be a pain, and they may be worth a reduction, it is up to me to maintain my health with my naturally gifted body. This is why I must maintain a strong back, and why I must eat healthily as an adult, to keep my bones in tip-top shape.

Part of self-acceptance sometimes means accepting things that are inconvenient. While I may have once wished to own two luscious mounds of joy upon my chest, actually developing them has taught me a crucial life lesson: “Be Careful What You Wish For, Because You Just Might Get It”!

Similar to the apple’s symbolic status in Christianity, Mango is a fruit with many stories surrounding its significance as a spiritual symbol within the Hindu religion. Except rather than sin, the sacred fruit is more strongly associated with love, pleasure, happiness and prosperity. 🥭

Hindu mythology is robust with stories that deserve to be told at a grand scale–at least as much as any others. In many of these spiritual stories and depictions, the mango holds a place of reverence, influencing the culture as a whole.

While highly regarded as the King of Fruits, the beloved drupe is highly celebrated throughout India and beloved the world over. As a Mexican-American, I am known to indulge in the succulent flesh of a perfectly ripe mango. Even just consuming it, is an erotic experience unto itself. This is a concept we will explore more deeply today, while uncovering religious concepts and more.

Regarded as a symbol of love, fertility and prosperity, the mango has transcended to become embody erotic pleasures, as enjoyed by the gods. And who wouldn’t want pleasure worthy of the gods?

Mythological Origins and Associations

The influence of the mango is quite apparent, when studying its influence on scriptures and folklore. The mango is native to the entirety of the India-Burma-Malaysia region, and thus is grown in abundance. In Hinduism, the fruit is considered extremely sacred, with many pieces of folklore and legends including the fruit. The mango is even mentioned in critical and ancient pieces of literature. Specifically it’s mentioned in the Ramayana and Mahabharata; these are epic poems, which are thousands of years old.

The mango tree itself was believed to be of divine origin, and associated with the Hindu God of Love and Desire, Kamadeva. Legends told of Kamadeva using the mango flower to create an intoxicating fragrance, which aroused the passions of the other deities. Kamadeva, similarly to Cupid, even employs a bow made from mango wood to ignite desire. 🔥

This association with Kamadeva links the mango to the concept of ‘Madhurya,’ or sweetness. This is a concept that extends beyond the taste of sweetness, encompassing love, beauty and bliss. And I think that’s beautiful.

Mangoes are so much more than. agesture of goodwill and love. When worshipping in temples, mangoes are offered to deities. This is a religious offering known as ‘prasadam’. As a sacred gift, it’s later distributed to devotees, so as not to waste the fruit.

Sharing this fruit with others is seen as fostering joy and spiritual fulfillment, beyond the erotic pleasures of the divine. Some may call it “sweet”. ☺️

Mango Hindu Religion – Rituals and Traditions

As we’ve covered so far, mango’s influence was not confined to the bounds of mythology. They have been seen in various rituals and traditions, like in weddings, as gifts bound in superstition, and as offerings to the gods. Mango leaves are also used in decorations, like garlands called “torans,” and to decorate the bride’s entrance to symbolize fertility and what she will bring to married life.

Mangoes are frequently seen throughout wedding ceremonies. In some cases, a bride may wear a mango leaf in her hair, which symbolizes fertility and sweetness. In some cases, newlyweds are fed mangoes to bless them with a passionate union, ifyouknowwhati’msayin.

Stories and Legends

There are many stories and legends I encountered, upon learning more about the fruit of desire. One of the more common legends involves the god Krishna, and his spiritually enduring romance with Radha. They have a bond that had endured since they were children, with the mango being a symbolic gesture between them. While they were not married, they were portrayed as a couple bound beyond the earthly realm.

As some of their stories foretold, Krishma was a mischievous and amorous boy. It was wait that he had playfully stolen mangoes to give to Radha, signifying his love and desire for her. The mango, thus, continues to appear as a symbol of their celestial romance, embodying the joy and ecstasy of love.

They’re even frequently portrayed under a mango tree, enjoying the joy of their bond together.

While there are dozens of tales, it’s impossible to cover them in a single blog post. If you’re interested in more mango storytelling, please comment on this post below!

On Mangoes and Pleasure – Let’s talk ‘Kama’

Kama is actually a really fascinating concept, unto itself, and it’s a small part of the overall eroticism of the mango itself. Also, it’s another concept I feel should be more widely promoted, as an eroticist. Be that as it may, you’re probably familiar with the Kama Sutra.

Kama itself is a reference to the aforementioned god of love, Kamadeva. Expanding upon kama as a concept is crucial in understanding the full connection between love and mangoes. ‘Kama’ is a term that is used to refer to creating desire.

Bear with me for a second–think of Kama like the present day art of thirst trapping. Broadly, kama refers to anything that may stimulate sensual desire, aesthetically or physically. This could be in the form of passions, pleasures, artforms, and beyond.

So, next time you feel a little more stimulated than usual, by that cutie on Insta? Kama, baby.

Have a Mango With Me

Going beyond the sweetness of mango, there is so much more to its sensual roots than the way it drips between your cleavage as you eat it (No? Just me?). That’s another blog, altogether.

There are over 1,000 varieties of mangoes–how many have you tried? This divine fruit is enjoyed around the world, in dozens of ways. Mango, a vessel of eroticism, is a fruit worthy of the gods–so that means it’s more than good enough for me.

While there are so many stories to be told, I’ll have to save that for yet another edition of Eros & Edibles–I couldn’t possibly contain it all in one post! Celebrate the Mango with me this Spring, and let me know if you learned anything on my social media!

Sometimes we’re struck with epiphanies throughout our healing processes, that help facilitate alleviating the heavy load you bear while healing from traumatic relationships. The process of healing seems to stagnate, until one day you have a new realization that’s been buried, and waiting for discovery. Recently I was struck with one such epiphany that hit me like a load of bricks:

I thought to myself, “Would they have been MEMORABLE if he didn’t ABUSE me?” Then, I took a deep, raggedy breath.

At that moment, I felt a flood of chemicals flowing into my brain. I continued my train of thoughts: “Did he even have anything to offer aside from the abuse?” In my experience, he did not. Once that epiphany flooded my sensibilities, I felt slightly more free from the suffocation from this particular trauma.

This isn’t always the case, but for many of us, it takes a shift in perspective to break-free from the trauma we’ve experienced.

Healing from Traumatic Relationships – Reconciling My Abuser

Many of us, who have experienced trauma from an abusive romantic relationship, struggle to break free of the pain that was inflicted upon us. In some cases, we retain a level of attachment to our abusers, When you realize you chose to overlook their flaws to see the good in them, you’re realize even moreso that you lowered your standards for them.

In my experience, I definitely lowered my standards to be with someone. When I entered this particular former relationship, I was in an extremely dark place after a total heartbreak, with someone who also didn’t deserve me.

My self-esteem was in hell.

Looking back, it was worse than I realized. This person seemed like he wanted to bring me joy. We had so much fun together! We moved so quickly, that I was barely able to catch my breath before I found myself knee deep in emotional commitment.

I was trapped. I stopped going out. The abuse was so egregious–and so frequent–it caused the autoimmune disease I already had to go measurably out of control, from the enormous stress. In fact, I’m still dealing with the impacts of this on my health, 4 years later.

When I had the aforementioned epiphany, I realized this man had absolutely nothing to offer! He really ended up being no more than a step above a “hobosexual”. He wasn’t attractive to begin with, and then he had gained a substantial amount of weight. It made him feel worse about himself than he already did. We couldn’t even have sex anymore, due to both his weight and his self-esteem! He didn’t cook, didn’t clean, stayed underemployed, and didn’t even help with his own child that would visit us.

Couldn’t he have at least been good to look at?! 🤣

You weren’t played, like you may think.

Abusive people rarely show their true colors from the start. You didn’t deserve the abuse, but you do deserve to heal, to love yourself, and to find happiness. Let’s acknowledge that you were strong enough to survive, and move forward.

Finding Love After Trauma

Healing from traumatic relationships is a messy, dirty business. Healing on purpose is a true act of self-love. When it feels like you’re trudging through the mud of traumatic memories, it can feel quite crushing. But then, something-or someone!-comes along and jolts you awake, forcing you to confront the darkness head-on.

There are a few things to consider, when it comes to loving yourself and others again.

• Practicing self-love is crucial. If you’re struggling on the path to self-love, please check out my blog How To Practice Self-Love, Even When You Can’t, to learn how to help get started in creating healthier brain patterns.
• Trusting someone will feel like dying; but you’re not. Learning what the red flags are of an abusive person is important, but try not to do the “shoot first; ask questions later” thing. That is never productive, and can harm more than it heals.
• Healing from traumatic relationships will take longer than you think; but that’s okay. You still deserve love!
• If a relationship is your end goal, you should be aware that some parts of healing can only occur when you’re actively in a relationship. The reason being is that when you’re single, there is no one capable of pushing the buttons your former partner used to push.

Sometimes, all it takes is a moment of clarity to realize just how utterly insignificant they truly are and were.

Healing is a work-in-progress, but it’s also a conscious decision. At least, it has been for me. I’ve been through therapy, I read books, deconstructed brain patterns, and actively worked to give myself the love I deserved.

Clearing The Brain Fog

When you’re healing from trauma, suddenly, something may shift. You may wake up, the fog will lift and grant you clarity you needed to move forward. This realization was both humbling and empowering for me, which awakened me to the true nature of my abuser.

You still have to unpack the trauma, and lick the wounds that have been festering for so long. Think of minimizing your abuser as a radical tool for reframing abuse – a gift that can help you rise above the pain. Like a fleeting orgasm, their power over us dissipates, leaving behind a sense of our own strength and safety. And maybe a little euphoria. 😉

I want you to know that it’s not your fault. You didn’t ask to be hurt, used, and have your feelings discarded. You were taken advantage of, and that’s not something to be ashamed of; it’s a testament to your heart.

Creating sin creates influence. At least, it did back in the days of the Wild West. While legendary figures like Doc Holiday and Billy the Kid reigned the American Frontier, there were influences that aren’t typically spoken about in polite company, or even in history books. There was a whole lot more to the Wild West than Cowboys and Saloons! Heck–there’s even more to the saloons themselves.

In this edition of Lust & Lore, we only begin to discover the world Madams of the Wild West navigated. and how their business acumen gained them power, wealth, and influence in their communities.

What did Madams in the Wild West Do?

Madams were the managers and operators of brothels, overseeing the day-to-day business, managing workers, maintaining property, and handling financial transactions. As one can imagine, women did not have many paths to solo success these days, nor were they able to acquire as much as men, on their own. These pioneering women found themselves navigating a world that was certainly not made for them, creating empires by running brothels.

They sat in the seat of sin, of the Wild West, sometimes offering gambling and drinking alongside their fine establishments. However, they made it work, in spite of the many contradictions. Powerful, yet vulnerable, Madams were the ones who found opportunity, without even considering the gold rush. They created their own value as businesswomen, proving themselves to be soft, yet never to be messed with.

Many were former sex workers themselves, gleaning knowledge from their experience, to create profitable and well-run establishments. They were responsible for setting the rules, ensuring security. They had to offer a welcoming environment, to attract clientele. This sometimes transforming their brothels into elite salons–or, saloons–where men could indulge not only in pleasure, but also gambling, drinking, and with inviting musical entertainment.

Soiled Doves or Boss B*tches?

Have you ever heard the term “Soiled Dove”? Don’t ring the alarms yet! It’s an obsolete expression meant to denigrate prostitutes in the 19th century.

The phrase means that, these were women who had a “fallen” reputation. Some were viewed with contempt, while others gained a degree of respect. In those cases, these were Madams who had sterling reputations. Particularly if they contributed to their communities through philanthropy.

Many local businesses thrived due to the commerce brought in by brothels, along with their direct contributions, making madams an important part of the local economy.

Power and Wealth

Madams wielded considerable power, controlling not just their businesses but often exerting influence over local law enforcement, community planning, and politics. There were always threats of legal crackdowns looming over their businesses. Using their charming wiles (or bribes) they became shrewd business women, ensuring their establishments could thrive, in spite of fluctuating legal restrictions.

Many amassed great wealth, dressing in the finest clothes and adorning themselves with decadent jewelry. They often loved embodying the image of luxury and success. Even so, many were not nearly as financially solvent, and left little to their memories.

Notable Madams of the Wild West

Mattie Silks – 1846-1929

A business-savvy madam, Mattie Silks began her career at the age of 19. Notably, she was not previously a sex worker, but was known for running one of the most luxurious brothels in Denver. Mattie was fierce and fearless, earning a reputation as a true business woman in spite of her youth.

There were many stories about Mattie, who was not one to be messed with. Mattie was said to have had a duel with a rival madam, over business and affections of her lover, Cort Thompson. The truth of the matter was far less interesting than what the chatter around her legacy tells us.

While the tall tales tell us of a duel–a topless duel, at that–it really was no more than a bar fight. The intents were the same, as she was fighting in defense of her lover. However, Cort was said to have stood by her side, supporting her. What a man!

Not only are we still talking about her fist fight over 100 years later, but she proved herself to be a success. Mattie ran her business affairs successfully enough, to where she was able to retire comfortably; a rarity for women in her profession.

Pearl DeVere

The glamorous and mysterious madam of Cripple Creek, Colorado. Pearl was the owner of the opulent Old Homestead brothel. Glamorous as she was, she was also known to have the most beautiful ladies of any parlor. As a madam, she ensured that they all wore fine clothes, and were taken care of medically and financially.

Pearl catered to an elite clientele, and she had to ensure her environment suited them justly. The Old Homestead was what one might consider “opulent.” It was filled with fine furniture, extravagant decor. They had TWO bathrooms, which was completely unheard of at the time. Not to mention, she hosted plenty of gaming tables for the gentlemen to complete the full trifecta of sin, as they drank merrily.

Pearl drew clientele all the way from Denver, to devour her wares of lovely, and truly cared for women. Ensuring that extra mile of care for her employees, guests were required to submit references.

Pearl died a somewhat dramatic  and poetic death, being found still draped in her $800 shell pink chiffon gown, which was imported from Paris. She was using morphine to help herself fall to sleep, which was common practice at the time, and succumbed to an accidental overdose.

Dora DuFran

As one of the most successful and famous madams of the Wild West, Dora was a success through and through. She expanded her operations, opening brothels in Deadwood and other frontier towns. Dora entered the sex industry as a teen, and moved her operations to Deadwood when the Gold Rush hit. As soon as she arrived in town, she boldly declared herself a madam and worked her way to becoming one of the most successful madams of all time. She started small, but quickly built a healthy empire.

Dora was a successful madam until she died in 1934, and is buried in Deadwood Cemetery with her pet parrot. Married and in-love, this true boss bitch also made sure she provided her love and adoration to cats. She was said to have cared for them in the brothels she kept. Her influence was said to be the main reason why some brothels became known as “cat houses”

Known for her humor and business acumen, she had a reputation that often had her come across legendary figures of the time. For instance, she was a close associate of the unconventional sharpshooter– and sometimes prostitute! –Calamity Jane. The pair was said to be so close, Dora was able to write a pamphlet about the life of Calamity Jane, jam packed with stories directly from her mouth.

The Legacy of the Wild West Madams

Madams were kind of the original “boss bitches” of the frontier, turning their knowledge of their trade into lucrative empires. Or at least, I like to think of it that way.

They acquired influence, wealth, and dressed to the nines to ensure they maintained a particular image. Building empires was always possible, and just looks a little different in the modern era of adult content creators! 😉

While their profession was controversial, their ability to succeed in a male-dominated world remains an enduring testament to their resilience in a world not built for them. These women were pioneers, in a way. They were strong and wise, ruthless and compassionate. Their self-made successes drawn from sex work illustrate the intricate social dynamics of the American frontier, proving society may have been more complex than we realize.

Resources –

https://www.notesfromthefrontier.com/post/soiled-doves

https://www.legendsofamerica.com/co-pearldevere/

https://recollections.biz/blog/5-madams-of-the-wild-west-and-what-made-them-famous/