My journey to self-love has been arduous. I consider this heavily, when people have asked me about How To Practice Self-Love, Even when you Can’t. I’ve been thinking about this topic for weeks, meditating on the possibilities and the journey.

I’ll tell you something funny; I had this basically written before I sat down to do the final draft of this. Then I had one big realization: Self-Love is self-care, and everything you do to take care of yourself. That’s right–everything. Even the little things. I had to re-work this whole thing, before I shared my thoughts with you!

For this blog, I wish to focus on what self-love is, so you can find for yourself how to love yourself, in spite of your flaws. So, if you ask me how to love yourself, even when you cannot? I would ask you, “why not?” In this blog, I’ll be discussing why and how I arrived at that question.

How to Practice Self-Love When You Cannot

When I first started on my self-love journey, I didn’t expect that it would be so healing. While I still struggle with self-perception issues, I have put forth effort into changing my brain patterns to shift into hate just because I perceive myself in a negative way.

I also did not expect that practicing self-love would enrich the relationships with those around me, allowing me to bring people into my life that cared for me.

Starting to give yourself self-love can feel uncomfortable at times. For real–try looking in the mirror and say, “I Love You”. Try it! This is especially true, if it’s something you’ve never really practiced before. You don’t need to do this to learn how to practice self-love, but it really drives home how you feel about yourself. 🫠

However, the GOOD news is, that it’s definitely possible to re-condition your brain patterns to begin the shift. This blog intends to outline areas you can evaluate and improve, to see yourself in a new light.

Sometimes I believe the problem with not being able to practice self-love is 1), determining what self-love is TO YOU, and 2), learning to love yourself with your faults.

It’s all about creating new brain patterns full of kindness and patience towards yourself. Here are a few things to think about on your path to self-love:

Are you Willing?

This first starts with WILLINGNESS. You cannot achieve self-love if you are not willing to try self-love. The fact that you clicked on this blog from a search engine or via my social media, tells me that you’re at least willing enough to learn about it.

Think of self-love like a garden. You need to plant the seeds first. If you don’t even plant the seeds, what do you think is going to grow?

Assess Yourself With Intention

If you want to practice self-love, you can make it a goal to love yourself unconditionally. Understand first, however, that this takes conditioning and time. You have to be okay with the process and journey.

Remember, the first step here is being willing to actually do it. Then you have to learn to recognize where you’re filling yourself with negativity.

We’re usually taught to be ashamed of our flaws. Have you done anything to yourself that is unforgivable? Probably not. Sure, I may have let myself stay in relationships for too long, I’ve made mistakes, or I may have been unfair to myself. However, one must actively forgive themselves for past mistakes. The only person you need to forgive is yourself. No one else.

Everyone makes errors and that dwelling on them hinders self-acceptance. Do you hate your loved ones for errors they make?

Love is in the Little Things

One thing that contributes to my daily practice of self-love, is trying to focus on small, compassionate acts toward myself. Even if those small things don’t feel like “love” in the traditional sense.

It could be something like letting yourself rest when you’re exhausted, forgiving yourself for mistakes, or just being gentle with your inner dialogue instead of being too harsh. Take a moment each day to acknowledge something you like about yourself. Even if it’s hard. This is the first step of many you’ll take in this journey.

Ever buy someone you love a candy bar just because you’re thinking of them? Buy yourself one, too! Just considering your sensibilities for a moment, is a small act of self-love.

Loving Yourself Without Condition, How to Practice Self-Love

You don’t need to be perfect to love yourself. Growth or needing growth is not a reflection of your worth. Forgive yourself for things, of which you may feel responsible. Accepting that you’re not perfect is SELF-LOVE. 💋

Your faults and struggles with your body aren’t going away. I still see myself in a dozen negative ways, and I struggle to unsee them. Sure, I may not love my stretch marks, but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to moisturize my skin, maintain hygiene, and care for myself the way I would want someone I loved to do so.

I’d never lose my love for someone, just because of perceived flaws. Why should I treat myself like that?

Assess Relationships and Boundaries

Do you have people in your life that tell you negative things about yourself, or always ask too much of you? Are you a recovering people-pleaser?

Having a supportive and healthy environment is really helpful in healing trauma on the path to loving yourself. Finding your people is very difficult, but it is even harder when you’re choosing self-loathing.

Self-love often means respecting your own limits. Learning to say “no” when you need to, whether it’s to people, work, or even your own inner demands, can be a powerful way to show yourself some love and care. It’s about prioritizing your own well-being. This is something I highly recommend professional help in pursuing for behavior change.

You’d defend someone you loved. Start by defending yourself.

Take Care of Your Body

This isn’t about changing how you look, but about treating your body with care and respect.

I used to think I couldn’t love myself because of my body. I am still not happy with my body, but I am definitely not allowing that to keep me from standing up for myself and taking care of myself!

Would you want someone you loved not to defend themselves, simply because they didn’t like themselves?

Show Up Like You Would for Someone Else You Love

No–not like people who have wronged you. How would YOU show up for someone you love?

Show up for yourself like that. Even if it’s hard. No one else can make the choice for you. People can love you, but they cannot make you love yourself. Bring yourself joy! You are far more powerful than you realize, because you’re capable of this. Even if you’re telling yourself right now that you’re not.

Remember; it’s a process. And it’s not an easy one.

Loving myself taught me how to love others better. It was a conscious choice, and I did the work. I’m still doing the work, because it never ends.

It’s not about whether you can or can’t love yourself. You have to first understand what self-love is, and how you can practice self-love. It’s a matter of treating yourself with care, even if you aren’t happy with something. Would you treat someone else you loved like this? Would you be this unfair to them?

The reality I had to accept was, that we are always a work in progress, and sometimes self-love is a mountain to climb. The more and more you pour into yourself, the better. One day you’ll look back, and see how your boundaries have saved you.

Learning how to practice self-love can take years, but there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel.

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Welcome to the second volume of Pleasure Principles, the second Volume to my How To Masturbate series for those that own vaginas! Check out the first edition Pleasure Principles: Vol. 1 – Intro To The Vulva & Vagina here.

In this edition, we’ll cover the basics of sex toys. We’ll cover everything from nipple stimulators, dildos, bullets, vibrators, and clitoral suckers to get you started on your way to self-pleasure, without use of your own hands.

We’ll discuss the safest ways to use toys, how to keep them clean, and provide tips for maintaining discretion.

I’ll hold your hand. Let’s just call it “Mutual Masturbation”.

Pleasure Principles: Volume II – A Guide to Sex Toys for Vulvas and Vaginas

Nipple Stimulation

Nipple stimulators are a fantastic way to enhance your solo play sessions, with something a little atypical of many users when they learn how to masturbate. These toys work by providing intense and focused stimulation to your nipples. Here are some popular types and tips for using them safely:

• Nipple Clamps: These come in various styles, from simple clips to adjustable screw clamps. Start with beginner-friendly options and gradually explore more intense ones as you become accustomed to the sensation.These are also excellent for partner play, but that’s another blog!
• Suction Cups: These create a vacuum-like suction around your nipples, increasing blood flow and sensitivity.
• Vibrating Nipple Toys: These combine vibration with clamps or suction cups for added pleasure.

Safe Use and Cleaning:

• Always start with clean toys and hands.
• Apply a small amount of lube to the nipple area to enhance sensation and reduce friction.
• Begin with gentle pressure and gradually increase intensity as desired.
• Clean your toys after each use with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner.
• Store them in a cool, dry place, away from direct sunlight.

How to Masturbate with Dildos

Dildos are classic sex toys designed for penetrative pleasure. In this section, we are specifically discussing the type of dildo that is manual, requiring use of your own hand to thrust them inside of yourself. This gives you a great chance to get truly intimate with yourself and see what you REALLY like. Dildos come in various shapes, sizes, and materials to cater to different preferences. There are even thrusting dildos, themed, and vibrating toys to choose from!

Here’s how to use them safely and effectively:

• Materials: Choose body-safe materials like silicone, glass, or stainless steel.
• Sizes: Start with smaller sizes and gradually work your way up if you must! It takes time to decide what you really like.
• Lubrication: Always use a generous amount of water-based lube for smoother penetration.

Safe Use and Cleaning:

• Wash your dildo with warm water and mild soap before and after each use.
• Dry it thoroughly to prevent mold and bacteria growth.
• Store it in a clean, dry place, preferably in a toy bag or container.

Bullets and Vibrators

Bullets and vibrators are versatile toys that can be used for both clitoral and internal stimulation, depending on the type you purchase. Tip: If you purchase a bullet vibrator and want to experience the fun sensations inside of yourself without risk, put the toy inside of a condom. That will make it easier to pull out when you’re finished! Keep yourself our of the ER. 👀

Vibrators come in various shapes and sizes, with different vibration settings to cater to different preferences. I recommend choosing one with a variety of settings, to increase versatility in your experience.

Types of Vibrators:

• Bullets: Small and discreet, perfect for targeted clitoral stimulation.
• Vibrators: Larger and more versatile, suitable for both internal and external use.
• Dildo: In the shape of a dildo, but battery-powered to vibrate on command while you use it to thrust.

Safe Use and Cleaning:

• Always use a water-based lube for comfort and enhanced sensation.
• Wash your toy with warm water and mild soap after each use.
• Store it in a clean, dry place, away from direct sunlight.

Clitoral Suckers

Ah yes, my personal favorite of the bunch! Clitoral suckers use suction and vibration to provide intense clitoral stimulation. They are designed to mimic the sensation of oral sex and really amplify solo fun with new sensations you don’t usually get on your own. Choose from handheld devices or wearable options for hands-free pleasure, to choose how to masturbate. There aren’t too many variants of this toy, other than some being enabled for fully hands-free fun! Choose a model that has divverent vibration and suction settings to find your perfect rhythm.!

Make sure to check out my sex toy reviews for some of my favorite clitoral suckers.

Safe Use and Cleaning:

• Apply a small amount of water-based lube to the clitoral area for comfort and enhanced sensation.
• Wash your toy with warm water and mild soap after each use.
• Store it in a clean, dry place, away from direct sunlight.

Tips for Discretion

Maintaining privacy and discretion is essential when exploring yourself, intimately.. Here are some tips to help you keep your play sessions private:

• Soundproofing: Choose a toy that has positive reviews for sound, or go with a manual toy. Use a blanket, pillow, or towel to muffle any sounds that may emanate from your own pleasure.
• Storage: Store your toys in a discreet, locked drawer or container.
• Timing: Choose a time when you’re unlikely to be interrupted, just as you might for a meditation session. After all, orgasms are spiritual events. 😇

We hope that by understanding the basics of different types of toys and learning how to masturbate safely can go a long way in your personal self-love sessions. Stay safe, stay clean, and enjoy all the good vibrations you’ll most certainly have cumming!

With Love,

Amara

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Welcome to another edition of “Beyond the DD,” where I discuss my “Big Boob Problems” from my real life experience of having actual big boobs! This is mostly just for funsies, because I am well-aware that having larger breasts is often seen as desirable. As with many desirable things; it ain’t all it’s cracked up to be!

In Part 1 of this series, I discussed how I even inherited such a pair. In addition, I covered my range of sizes, having been all the way up to 42K at one point! Throughout my experiences, I learned much about how bra sizes work (Thank you, ABTF), and how to manage the logistics around having these two things strapped to my chest at all times.

Beyond the DD, Part 2 – Avert Your Eyes

Today, we’re discussing how much I wish people could Avert Their Eyes! 😆 If you’re a fellow busty woman, you know that bouncing boobs don’t just occur all the time. Perhaps those big mommy milkers truly ARE a marvel! Or perhaps some folks simply have not seen boobs that big before, in person.

In reality, I am somewhat small in stature, with a curvy physique. There really is no point in hammering out the reasons. The point is that it happens, and it can get quite uncomfortable at times.

Big Boob Problems – Invasive Staring

As a busty woman, I have learned to at least appear as if I have tunnel vision. It keeps me out of trouble, and keeps me from making unwanted eye contact. While I may appear aloof, trust–I am paying attention!

Be that as it may, some people truly are not as sly as they seem to think.

Men with girlfriends? You’re not slick. If your girl didn’t see you, I sure did. So does anyone I am with, including friends and romantic partners.

Have you ever had a flock of teenage boys trying to sneak a peek on the sly? Look, virgins. There are 10 of you. You look ridiculous.

Unfortunately, you have to have some level of awareness when you’re in public, as a woman. If you don’t think we’re picking up on something, most of us definitely are. Like the man I caught getting video of me at Target! 🫠

No, I Don’t Always Want to Be Perceived

On occasion, I have been known to drop a thirst trap.

However, that’s me in control of the perception. I am making a choice at that moment to be perceived in a certain way. As an introverted and mildly misanthropic person, I very likely do not want to talk to strangers. Sometimes I am in a sociable mood, and am more receptive to public attention.

These are the times when I’m dressed in line with how I want to be perceived. Though, sometimes, I wish people would just leave me alone. Then I may not feel as if I have to dress in shapeless clothes, just to avoid unwanted attention when I go to the store to pick some avocados.

Perhaps I should wear a sign!

Ain’t My Fault They’re Big

A few years ago I saw a woman online, annoyed that someone asked her to cover up. This woman was well-endowed, and was justifiably upset that someone wasn’t minding her damn business. She said, “it ain’t my fault my titties are big!”

While there may be admirers, there are also plenty of haters. If I do choose to show off what I’ve got, that’s my choice to make. Receiving hate for it is just as much of a struggle, because *I* didn’t make this choice. These BIG NATTYS came on their own, baby.

Finding My Peace

Be that as it may, these are not things I can help, in others. Just as much as they cannot help that I have big honkin’ juicy mommy milkers.

We cannot expect strangers to know and understand our boundaries. We can only do what makes us feel comfortable in any given moment, regardless of what’s happening around us. Acceptance is all about learning what you can and cannot control.

They’re exhibiting their nature. They can help how they are, but sometimes we just have to accept that some people will always be who they are and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Have you had issues accepting your body, for better or worse? Do you have Big Boob Problems? Or maybe you just like huge boobs! Let me know in the comments!

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In the realms of human expression, few things can rival the raw sensuality and emotional depth of movement and dance leading us to explore the world of Sensual Movement. When we allow our bodies to flow with intention and passion, we tap into a world of self-expression, empowerment, and unbridled sensuality. Today I want to explore the world of sensual movement and dance with you, exploring how these ancient art forms can become a potent tool for self-discovery, intimacy, and seduction.

Even if it’s as simple as dancing naked in your shower, it can get the job done! 😜

The Language of the Body

Sensual movement and dance are more than just physical actions – they are a language that speaks directly to our souls. By surrendering to the rhythm of our bodies, we can convey emotions, desires, and intentions in a way that transcends words. This primal form of communication awakens our senses, igniting a deep connection with ourselves and those around us.

Embracing Sensual Movement

Sensual movement is not about perfection; it’s about embracing our imperfections and celebrating our uniqueness. It’s about letting go of inhibitions and allowing our bodies to express the full spectrum of human emotion. As we move, we tap into our inner sensuality, unleashing a cascade of feelings, desires, and sensations that can be both liberating and intoxicating.

The Art of Seduction

Sensual movement and dance can be a powerful tool for seduction, not just in the bedroom, but in everyday life. By owning our bodies and expressing our desires through movement, we become irresistible magnets, drawing others into our orbit. This is not about manipulation; it’s about embracing our authentic selves and sharing that energy with the world.

Finding Your Inner Rhythm

So, how do you tap into the world of sensual movement and dance? The answer is simple: start moving. Put on some music that speaks to your soul, and let your body respond. Don’t worry about technique or perfection – focus on the sensations, emotions, and desires that arise as you move. As you surrender to the rhythm of your body, you’ll unlock a world of self-expression, sensuality, and empowerment.

In the words of the great dancer, Martha Graham, “Movement never lies.” As we embrace the power of sensual movement and dance, we’ll discover that our bodies hold the secrets to our deepest desires, and that the language of movement is the most honest, raw, and seductive of them all.

Sensual movement and dance are not just forms of self-expression; they’re gateways to a world of intimacy, connection, and seduction. By embracing our bodies and unleashing our inner rhythm, we’ll tap into a power that’s both primal and transcendent. So, take the first step – let your body speak, and watch as the world responds to your self-love and self-care.

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As the leaves turn golden and the air grows crisp, the fall season whispers secrets of transformation and introspection. It’s a time to let go of the old and embrace the new, to cozy up with a warm cup of cider and reflect on the journey thus far. But amidst the hustle and bustle of harvest season, it’s easy to forget the most important thing: our own sensuality. It’s time to strap in and speak to ourselves as the year comes to a close, and focus on Autumn Self-Care.

In this post, we’ll explore the beauty of embracing our sensuality during the fall season. We’ll delve into the world of sensual self-care, savoring the flavors of fall, engaging our senses through style, fall fitness, sensual exploration, autumnal aromatherapy, connecting with the earth, and reflective journaling.

Enjoy Sensual Autumn Self-Care to Stay Connected to Yourself

• Sensual self-care rituals for fall
• Savoring the flavors of fall through sensual eating
• Engaging the senses through style and fashion
• Fall fitness routines that focus on intention and body awareness
• Sensual exploration and play for a deeper connection with oneself
• Autumnal aromatherapy for a cozy atmosphere
• Grounding practices to connect with the earth
• Reflective journaling prompts for self-discovery and growth
• Sensual Self-Care Rituals for Fall

As the weather cools, our skin begins to crave nourishment and comfort. Create a fall-themed self-care routine that incorporates seasonal ingredients like pumpkin and cinnamon into your body scrubs and face masks. Light candles and snuggle up with a good book, allowing the soft glow to warm your skin and soothe your senses.

Savoring the Flavors of Fall

Fall is a season of abundance, and our plates should reflect that. Incorporate seasonal produce into your meals, focusing on the textures and flavors that awaken your senses. Try recipes that feature ingredients like figs, pomegranates, and dark chocolate – known aphrodisiacs that will leave you feeling satisfied and sensual.

Engaging the Senses Through Style

As the weather cools, our fashion choices can become more intentional. Experiment with fall fashion that feels good against the skin, like soft knits, silk scarves, and leather boots. Don’t be afraid to layer up and slowly undress, savoring the sensation of each piece of clothing as it’s removed.

Fall Fitness: Moving with Intention

Fall is the perfect time to get outside and connect with nature. Try hiking or yoga in the crisp fall air, focusing on the sensation of your feet touching the earth and the wind in your hair. For indoor workouts, focus on fluid movements and body awareness, like Pilates or dance.

Autumn Self Care – Sensual Exploration and Play

Fall is a season of exploration and discovery. Try new erotic activities, like temperature play with ice or warm oils, or experiment with different types of sensual touch. Take the time to connect with your body and desires, and don’t be afraid to try something new. Even solo!

Autumnal Aromatherapy

The scents of fall are warm and inviting, evoking feelings of coziness and comfort. Try diffusing essential oils like sandalwood, vanilla, and clove to create a sensual atmosphere. You can also create homemade room sprays featuring these scents to evoke the essence of fall.

Connecting with the Earth

Fall is a season of harvest and abundance, and our connection to the earth should reflect that. Try grounding practices like walking barefoot on fallen leaves or meditating outdoors. Take the time to connect with the natural world and its cycles, and allow that connection to inform your sensuality.

Reflective Journaling

As the seasons change, take the time to reflect on your journey thus far. Ask yourself questions like “What am I grateful for?” “What do I desire?” and “What do I need to let go of?” Document your sensual journey through the fall season, and watch as you grow and transform.

Embracing our sensuality during the fall season is a radical act of self-love. It’s a reminder that our bodies are worthy of pleasure and comfort, and that our desires are valid and important. As the leaves turn golden and the air grows crisp, take the time to connect with your sensuality and allow it to guide you through the season.