Temperature Play Tips for the Beginner

If you’ve never been introduced, we think you could use an introduction with some fun Temperature Play tips! As an ever-curious person, I can testify to the allure, but I also feel like it’s a very “safe” and “vanilla” way to dabble in enhanced, sensual play and BDSM. If you’re new to kinkier concepts, maybe consider first that BDSM is a wide spectrum of activities that don’t necessarily involve whips and chains– but that’s another blog post!

Pleasure and pain has been likely the most mainstream aspect of BDSM. While I won’t be diving into the spectrum of what that covers, today we’re only discussing a singular aspect that can be used in multiple ways to achieve new heights of pleasure, new sensations and create some enjoyable intimacy. The book Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose explores even the more casual ways humans engage in masochism (the M of BDSM, from tattoos to even people who eat insanely spicy food, on purpose.

Temperature play doesn’t even have to cause pain. It can be as simple as kissing someone’s back with cold lips, or adding a chilling sensation to another body part.

Some of the links in this blog may be affiliate links. Please read my affiliate disclosure here.

What is Temperature Play?

If you came up groomed as a hetero female, you’ve probably heard the Cosmo-derived advice of, “suck on an ice cube before you go down”. Look, they’re barely even capable of using the word “penis,” but they’re onto something.

No one ever said that there isn’t such a thing as light BDSM, and realistically, that is anything outside of traditional, analog sex. The reality is, it can be fun way to spice things up. BDSM is your friend, even in a “vanilla” relationship”.

It can be as delicate or as masochistic as you want, especially when play involves heat.

Temperature Play Ideas

Some fun temperature play ideas that go beyond the typical can be fun experimentation, and can be as tame as you desire. The term “Temperature Play” is pretty broad, and usually encompasses the application of heat or cold, in the bedroom. Today, we’ll cover a few forms, to give you some ideas for the next time you’re in need of a little experimentation!

But first– let’s discuss a little bit of safety. You should be prepared for any potential burns, and make sure you aren’t removing ice directly from the freezer to produce sensations in your partner or yourself. Ice and Heat can damage the skin, so please take these safety considerations into account when you engage in temperature play for the first time.

Have something on hand to reverse whatever you’re doing. For example, keep cool water nearby for heat, or warming blankets and pads near for cold play. Make sure safety is at the top of mind, when engaging in this or any BDSM play. Utilize safe words if it helps you and your partner feel more comfortable, during your playtime.

At the end of the day, you are responsible for your and your partner’s safety, along with their consent. Now, let’s get down to the good stuff!

Ice/Cold Play Tips

Ice Play is often where many people begin, and can encompass a lot of action. Be wary of cold burns, and keep warming items on hand, should your partner need them. Warm water, towels, and blankets make for excellent accompaniments. You can incorporate ice/cold play in the following ways:

• Freeze a Glass Dildo for Insertion, or other sex toys
• Ice Cubes for melting on your partner’s nipples, skin, and other erogenous zones.
• Ice cubes to cool your mouth before oral stimulation
• Let an ice cube melt in their belly button
• Use to increase sensations on your partner’s body before performing upon them.
• Use Cold Food to lap up, from your partner’s body
• Induce pain, with pleasure. Responsibly.

Fire/Heat Play Tips

This is a fairly common kink. Personally, my first exposure to this was in the music video to Ricky’s Martin’s 1999 smash hit, “Livin’ la Vida Loca”. Anyone else remember that? Just me? Okay then.

Again, keep your partner’s safety in mind. Make sure you know how to treat a burn (both hot and cold) as accidents do happen. Here are some Fire Play Safety Tips, but here are some fun ways to play with varying degrees of heat in the mean time!

• Hot Towels
• Warming Massages
• Warming a glass or stainless steel sex toys
• Wax Play / Candle Wax (tip, do not use just any candle wax. There are candles manufactured for the explicit purpose of temperature play.)
• Carefully playing with fire, near or directly onto a person’s skin. Responsibly.
• Use of Topicals – Massage Oils, etc.

Some experts may recommend topicals which contain compounds like capsaicin. While topicals like this can provide unique sensations, it’s important to note that they can damage and burn skin. Maybe one day I’ll regale you with a story about accidental temperature play and capsaicin ointment, but that’s… another blog. 🙈 On that note, I’ll leave you with one last temperature play tip:

Capsaicin is best removed from the skin with dish soap.

It’s Playtime!

As always, any form of kink or BDSM must be approached with consent and a detailed discussion about personal limits and desires. If you’re looking for more specific Temperature Play Tips, please feel free to reach out to me on Twitter/X, or comment on the blog below!

Listen to your partner, play wisely and safely, and you’ll have something fun to incorporate into your routine whenever you’d like!

Facebook | Instagram | Twitter/X | OnlyFans | Official Site